The Princessa’s Jewel, part I

Leonardo de Cefiro’s personal diary

Fire, Fertility, Fire 613

I mean, wot?

Don’t get me wrong, bein’ a shepherd ‘as its up-sides. Open air, good views, lots of chances to see wot the weather’s doin’. But after learnin’ ‘ow to use a rapier & dagger, and with the family bein’ so keen on the Wind Gods (and Mam always said we were descended from nobs a few generations back), I thought I’d go and see the world a bit, and wot better way to start than in the big city of Ursara as a militiaman? I think I cud make a great light infantryman. I bet I can use me 4 weapons (cos I’m ‘andy with me quarterstaff and sling an’ all) better than most of ‘em, and all that tracking after lost sheep and climbing hills / jumping over streams ‘as to have big city applications, yes?

Well, no. Seems I need to know ‘ow to use a spear and shield, and when they asked me about my knowledge of ‘Lore’, seems that the weather aint wot theys was on about. And I went and spent all me savin’s on a brand new set of weapons and a quilted jerkin. Wot am I supposed to do now for a bed for the night?

So I asks around, seein’ if I can get some work somewhere, but it don’t look promisin’. Seems most people are talkin’ about some big posh meetin’ that’s took place in the palace – Ursara’s goin’ to become the Capital of some new country apparently, under Princess Salomé, a werebear. Well, it aint goin’ to make any difference to the peasants I can tell you that much. An overbearin’ lord’s an overbearin’ lord, don’t matter who is allegiance’s to. Give me an anarcho-syndicalist commune anyday…

Just as I’m contimplatin’ the violence in’erent in the system, I ‘ears a scream. Proper, “’elp me now cos I’m goin’ to die, don’t bother rolling on your listen skill” sort of scream. Seems like I’ve wandered into a bit of a dodgy area of the city, even though it’s only 100 yards or so from the castle and I’m at a 5-ways junction. Noise ‘as come from down one of the roads leadin’ off the square, and there’s no one else about. Almost immediately afterwards I ‘ears a whistle, like them whistles that the watchmen carry. So I suppose instinct take over an’ I peg it down the street to see wots wot.

And it’s a strange sight an’ all. There’s a man facing off against 2 figures that look like elves. Running towards them is a fourth figure who looks like a watchman, an’ e’s got the whistle to ‘is lips. So it looks like a racial muggin’ or summat, so I draws me quarterstaff (well, un-sling it from my back, like), shout ‘Ave at you, brigands!’ or summit stupid, and runs towards ‘em.

It seems to work. The man sees us all approachin’ an’ scarpers real quick like off a side alley. I don’t get a good view of ‘im, but ‘e was ‘olding something glintin’ in ‘is ‘ands – like a piece of jewellery maybe? The elves see they’s outnumbered now and scarper as well, back down the street. They look a bit weird for elves – wearing nothin’ but loin cloths, carryin’ ‘atchets (‘atchets? I thought all elves carried bows and spears) an’ seemingly covered in lichen.

The watchman turns to me and thanks me for me ‘elp like – which is good of ‘im cos I didn’t really do much – an’ says ‘e thinks the elves were trying to mug the poor bloke who ran off. So I’s offer to ‘elp track the buggers like, if ‘e fancies tryin’ to see where they’s at, an’ seein’ as weird elves in a big city is pretty strange, an’ he agrees.

Well, I’m a good tracker me. Cud probably find a lost sheep on freeze night wearing ear muffs, (me that is, not the sheep) an’ sure enough, them elves have left some bare-footed prints in the mud (I remember we ‘ad a shower a few nights ago – good job!) as well as trailin’ some lichen behind ‘em like dandruff. They’ve gone into an ‘ouse a few blocks away. Small, terraced ‘ouse, probably 1 up, 1 down sort of thing but with 2 shuttered windows on the ground floor and 2 un-shuttered windows upstairs. So the watchman (who’s name’s Roberto) turns to me and asks me what I think we should do.

Wot? Who’s the watchman and who’s the country peasant in this conversation? But maybe this is a test? Maybe this is my chance prove meself to the Watch! So I think quickly and suggest we could try and storm the place if he thinks we’re up for it (cos I don’t want to come across as a coward, like), or we cud play it cool and wait to see wot ‘appens.

At this point another watchman turns up (probably attracted by the whistle earlier) and pours cold water on the stormin’ idea. Cud be loads of elves in there and of course ‘e’s right. So ‘e suggests we stake the place out (a stake out!! – I’m gettin’ proper militia trainin’ now) while ‘e goes and gets ‘elp from the station. Suits me, and apparently Roberto says that there’s no way out of those ‘ouses ‘cept through the front door. So I ‘unker down with ‘armonize in mind, and wait.

Probably less than an ‘our later and the watchman appears with some ‘elp. And a motley crew e’s assembled an all! First there’s a nob called Esteban – a Typhonian nob if ever I saw one (wonder if we’re related?) so I’s doff my forelock in case ‘e’s one of ‘em ‘know thy place’ types, but ‘e seems OK – even says to not call ‘im my Lord, (which took a bit of gettin’ used to I can tell you).

Then there’s Iago, a fellow watchman with ‘is spear and shield; Joaquina, who simply must be a Valkyrie with ‘er flowing locks – even without an ‘orse and winged ‘elmet I’d recognise ‘em psychopomp types (she’ll be not one to cross I’d wager), and Ramos who is also a fellow wind cultist – probably one of ‘em north wind cold types (a 2H axe is a bit of a give-away), an’ ‘e looks like a real tank in ‘is shiny metal armour. Lastly, and definitely leastly, is Manuel who’s wearing some sort of livery, but looks like a thief to me, as he’s in leathers and carrying a short sword & x-bow. Maybe ‘e got caught and is workin’ off ‘is sentence like?

So then we all gets to start chatting about ‘ow to go about it. I offers to approach the ‘ouse an’ cast Det Life so we knows ‘ow many critters we’re facing. Esteban agrees, gives me his medium shield an’ asks (well, orders) me to be a diversion as Manuel sneaks up to the ‘ouse as well. So Manuel only goes an’ changes his ‘ead into a rat – ‘e’s a wererat! – an slinks off towards the ‘ouse all quiet like. I follow ‘im in (a bit too quietly to be ‘onest if I’m tryin’ to be a diversion), passive parryin’ with me borrowed shield, and cast me spell after we get pelted by some flinty lookin’ stones from the upstairs windows. I get 12 blips, 4 upstairs at the windows an’ 8 downstairs. Good job me and Roberto didn’t storm the place or we’d be goners!

Me an’ Manuel fall back in squads to the group as Robertos lays down suppressing fire with ‘is bow after a few more pebbles miss us, and report back. Manuel didn’t sniff any disease, but ‘e did smell fear, sweat and dead things. Sounds a bit ominous to me, but I give Esteban ‘is shield back (though embarrassin’ly ‘e as to remind me to do it…)

So we talks a bit more about ‘what to do now. Ramos and Iago think we should give ‘em a chance to surrender, and Iago steps forward boldly and in a loud voice shouts ‘Surrender, in the name of the Law! (Oh, so that’s what they meant in the militia interview…) You have 4 minutes to submit or we’re coming in!’ And, wow, what a voice Iago ‘as when he turns it on – I almost drops me own weapons there an’ then! I’m glad e’s on our side. ‘Owever the elves seem less impressed, or maybe they think they’ve got us outnumbered, as one of ‘em throws another one of ‘em flintstones at Iago. Nasty buggers these. However a few people ‘ear some chittering noises inside that sounds like language, and it aint Faerie that’s for sure. Maybe they’re thinkin’ about it?

Whilst the 4 minutes is countin’ down there’s some more discussion. Esteban reminds us that we need prisoners so we can find out what’s goin’ on. Manuel suggests goin’ in through the upstairs windows, and I volunteer if others can ‘elp as well, as I’m good at climbin’. ‘Owever no-one else volunteers, although Joaquina makes a quip about using her flying ‘orse (at least I think she was jokin’?) Ramos appears to be itching to get in there and chop ‘em up, but Esteban urges more caution, and ‘e mentions the neighbours might need evacuatin’ as a few candles can be seen in nearby windows as people try to see what all the commotion is about. ‘Owever the 4 minutes is up and Ramos appears to win the argument – we’re goin’ in!

So we line up in order to take on the stormin’ of the ‘ouse, after we’ve spelled up (I cast my Protection 2). After Esteban asks for more details about the layout, we formalise an order an’ a plan (like, a real plan!)

Ramos goes first with ‘is axe and ‘eavy armour to break down the door and pile in. E’ll charge into the main room. Esteban goes in next as ‘e can passive parry with ‘is shield, and ‘e’ll head up the stairs which is right in front of the door. Then Iago will follow Ramos into the downstairs room, carrying a lantern which e’ll put on the floor so we can all see. Then Joaquina will follow Esteban upstairs, followed by the 2 watchmen, both carrying lanterns, one of whom goes upstairs and one downstairs. Then bringin’ up the rear will be me and Manuel, both using our missile weapons on the guys upstairs if they shows themselves to throw pebbles again.

So it all goes remarkably well, all things considerin’. Ramos takes a while to smash the door down with ‘is axe, but eventually ‘e shoulder charges the door and piles in. Manuel fires ‘is x-bow at one of the elves in the windows and by the grunt of pain ‘its it but not as ‘ard as ‘e’d like. I ‘ave a mare though – me sling bullet goes way off and skittles off the roof tiles – hope no-one saw that, it was embarrassin’.

By the time me and Manuel get through the front door, the fight ‘as well and truly started. 3 elves are surroundin’ Ramos, but as I clock this Ramos carves the arm off one of ‘em and ‘e goes down screamin’. Iago ‘as 2 to ‘imself an Roberto ‘as one. Manuel charges forward, breaking the line and getting behind the ones on Iago. The elves seem to ignore ‘im so I reckons Manuel ‘as cast Invisibility – that’s thieves for you right there. So I goes in and ‘elps Ramos, cos you never want to be double teamed if you can ‘elp it in a fight, and ‘e’s a fellow cultist an’ all (even if ‘e’s kind of opposite runes to me really)…

As I aim a swipe with my quarterstaff I notice movement in the far corner of the room. I knows there must be at least another 2 critters somewhere, so I manoeuvres where I won’t be ‘it in the backside unawares like. My quarterstaff swings true but the bugger gets his ‘atchet in the way and I barely scratch it. ‘Owever he then tries to bite me! I brings my ‘staff in to parry and catch ‘im right in the gob! Teeth go flyin’ everywhere and ‘e crumples to the floor in front of me. Scratch one elf! At the same time Ramos takes another almighty swing at the remainin’ elf in front of us and this time the bugger’s leg flies right off, literally endin’ up on the other side of the room. What a strike! That Ramos is a real killer. No wonder they call ‘im Bruto.

So there’s no-one in front of either of us now. I’m fairly certain Ramos, Iago, Roberto and Manuel can manage the remainin’ 3, so I goes over to the corner of the room where I spied movement. There’s no-one there, just a cupboard, but just to be sure I open it and a rat jumps out in front of me! Nasty buggers them rats and I think about puttin’ it out of its miserable existence, but then it don’t look chaotic an’ Manuel will probably just get all shirty with me, so I leave it to run down a hole in the corner.

As I watch it go I spy the remainin’ elves - they’re hiding under the stairs! Looks like the others ‘aven’t seen them yet, so I goes back to the group to shout a warnin' – don’t really fancy tryin’ to take ‘em all on meself. As I cross the room back to the fight I spy somethin’ else on the floor – a dead body! That wasn’t done by one of us – it must ‘ave been ‘ere already. As I get closer it looks like an ‘uman, but he’s got bits of ‘im missing as though he’s been nibbled by a thousand ‘ungry rats – these elves must be cannibals! That’s disgusting that is – maybe they’re related to trolls?

So as I expected, the fight don’t last long and the remainin’ elves either get floored or surrender to us. There were 4 upstairs but Esteban, Joaquina and the watchman made short work of ‘em. So we’s got a few dead and a number of injured grey lookin’ elves – there were 16 of ‘em in total, so looks like my Det Life spell didn’t cover the entire ‘ouse. After we first aids and ‘eals the ones we can, we got 11 live prisoners, though a lot of ‘em are missin’ a limb or two which aint goin’ to grow back anytime soon. Iago says summat about askin’ Princesa Salomé’s permission to ‘ouse them in the Chaological Gardens, even though they’re not chaotic. Wow, so ‘e’s on speakin’ terms with the ‘ead of state? Got to say I’m impressed!

So we give the ‘ouse a final once over, and find an attic above the 1^st floor. ‘Idin’ in there is a girl, probably a few years younger than me called Ofelia. She’s only too ready to let us know wot ‘appened and it’s quite revealin’. Apparently this place was the den of a bunch of thieves led by Ronaldo Grandes and 6 ‘prentices (including ‘er). At this point I gives a sly glance over to Manuel, but he doesn’t show any flicker of recognition. Maybe ‘e isn’t a thief after all, or maybe ‘e was in a different cell like?

Anyways, so Ofelia goes on to say that Ronnie was ‘ired to do a great theft – stealin’ a priceless gem from summat called the Alcazar. ‘E planned on Shadowportin’ in and out of the treasury, but wanted 3 of ‘is ‘prentices to guard the Shadow gate ‘e would open, in case any monsters from the Shadowlands decided to pay a visit. ‘E cast ‘is spell on the ground floor and was gone a long time, but returned suddenly with a glowin’ & pulsin’ pale gem (so that was the guy I saw in the street facin’ down those elves!) chased by a loada grey elves.

Ronnie ran out onto the street chased by 2 of the buggers, leaving the ‘prentices to fight off the rest – and there were dozens of ‘em. After getting ‘it, Ofelia barricaded ‘erself in the attic.

Looks like all the other ‘prentices snuffed it, though all but ‘Ugo death-divinted away, probably to the nearest Luciferan temple. Thing is, Olivia doesn’t understand why Ronnie didn’t use his swagbag to hide the gem – she thinks he broke a geas. Did he kill someone maybe?

Oh, and we finds a loada loot up in attic – cash and stolen goods which someone says will total 300 zephyrs. Well I ‘ope they include me in divvying that up – would go someway to ‘elping with me cash flow problem, and I cud save up for a nice pair of greaves an’ all.

So, the plot thickens! It looks like a priceless Gem ‘as been stolen – surely we could track that down an claim some sort a reward? ‘Specially if Iago as the ear of the princessa…