Tactics & Diplomacy, part I

Leonardo de Cefiro’s personal diary

In which the party get their first, or in some cases second, look at the Dimaryp, up close and personal…

Freezeday to Clayday, Fertilityweek, Seaseason, 614 TA

Well, the last few weeks ‘aven’t been that interestin’ to be ‘onest. We got a bit of cash from the Princessa (Empressa, or whatever she calls ‘erself these days) for the job up in Puentetrueno (no sign of Don Jorj (c***!) trial date yet – I defo want to be in the gallery for that one), so I went and splashed out on an extra point of Bludgeon and some metal limb armour, just in case like.

The start of the year was official Unification day, and the whole Watch was mobilised in case of any trouble but, apart from a few overly enthusiastic revellers, it all seemed to pass off remarkably calmly. As I suspected, the ordinary bloke in the street doesn’t really care, so long as they can pay the rent and ‘ave a bit left over for some beer, everyone’s generally ‘appy.

‘Owever, with Ursula now bein’ capital of virtually the ‘ole bloody world, lots of visitin’ dignitaries start driftin’ in to pay their respects like. We ‘as to escort a few to the palace, but most ‘ave come with a load of their own poncy staff, so we just gets to gawk at some of the stupid costumes that foreign folk wear – wouldn’t catch me in ‘all those flowin’ silks I can tell you!

A few rumours ‘ave been spreadin’ around court though. Apparently a few people ‘ave ‘ad some strange bad dreams to do with an object called the ‘Dimaryp’. It’s a structure in the chaos fells that’s basically a ‘uge upside down poly’edron ‘eld up by magic. Wot?! Sounds dead strange to me. Anyway, this dream ‘as a load of Trolls knockin’ this monolith down and some sort of ancient ‘orror emergin’ to destroy the world or summat. It’s probably nothin’ more than a few people smokin’ somethin’ that should get ‘em locked up, but then I finds out both Calvera and Iago ‘ave been affected.

Turns out both of ‘em, (and me friend Pablo, who also works at court, and ‘es another pretty boy too), ‘ave slept with this bird called Aurora, who’s a Selenite, one of them visitin’ dignitaries I think who’s been ‘ere a while. I’ve seen ‘er around and she’s young & dead pretty. Got to say that Calvera doesn’t surprise me at all, but I’m learnin’ new thin’s about Iago. I thought ‘e was only into foxes, so to speak…

I’m no expert on dreams, Portents (that’s ravens flyin’ backwards, ruttin’ cats & dogs and so on) or whatnot, but soon I get a summons to the Palace! Wonderin’ what I’ve done wrong, I wear me best togs and present meself to ‘er ‘ighness’s audience chambers.

Well, looks like almost the ‘ole gang is there. We’ve got Iago, Esteban, Joaquina & Xavier. Ramos is back in town (but Calvera is out, probably ‘idin’ from some ‘usband ‘e’s pissed off) and a new girl called Josefina, who looks and smells a bit nautical to me.

So Salomé greets us all and asks our opinion on all the diplomatic infightin’ that’s been goin’ on. (Wow – a nob values my opinion!!) I’ve ‘eard a bit about this of course – people want to clear the Chaos Fells of Chaos (no complaints from me on that one), and the best people to do this are Trolls, but the Trolls want their own state in return, and that seriously pisses off the dwarves and the lightbringer state to the north, unsurpin’ly.

Xavier starts by sayin’ that the resources needed to clear the Fells will be vast (we get shown a map – it’s like almost ‘alf the bloody country!) but whatever troops do it then they should ‘ave a say who owns it. Lookin’ at the terrain on the map, it seems perfect Troll country – apart from a bit of sheep farmin’ it’s not conducive for building ‘ovels, towns & cities and such, and the only thing that’d grow there would be trees…

Talk then gets round to the Dimaryp itself. Some of us ‘ave seen it before and a few try and draw it. (Ramos’ is actually not all that bad). It’s got a doorway at the top (what would ‘ave been at the bottom when it was upright) that ‘as the words Sirahk on it, and apparently it was thrown by a God in Godtime from Necropolis to pin some monster beneath it. (Great throw that – pin point accuracy over a few thousand miles…!) Around it are a race of ‘little blue men’ called Kobalosi who accordin’ to Iago ‘ave been ‘elpful in the past who are Selenites. Well, the Trolls are just gonna love that! Salomé says wot we’re all thinkin’ – she obviously wants to encourage the Trolls, but they’re gonna destroy any small lunar people and structures in their territory.

We talks some more, but we soon realise we’re goin’ round in circles. It seems like we need more info, so Salomé decides to send us out to it to investigate. Looks like she’s sendin’ some of the diplomats an’ all so they can see it up personal-like. We got Zoya, who’s a Mistress race troll (Ramos will be ‘er body guard), Phoebe who’s an Oronoar cultist representing the lightbringer lands (Joaquina is lookin’ after ‘er), Martino (a chaos expert from the abbey who we’re goin’ to pick up on the way) who Josefina is paired with, Alfonso, a storm lord, who’s ridin’; with Esteban, and I get Uthor, a soldier dwarf in full iron plate! I’m not sure who’s goin’ to be protectin’ who around ‘er, but tryin’ to make sure ‘im and the troll don’t start goin’ at each other ‘ammer & tongs is what will take up most of my time I’ll wager.

Oh, and Salome is also sendin’ Eduardo from court, officially to be ‘er eyes and ears, but I ‘eard tell ‘e embarrassed ‘er at court the other day tellin’ er to sort thin’s out, so it looks to me like she’s gettin’ ‘er own back and sendin’ ‘im away. Xavier will look after 'im (and 'es probably the one that's gonna need the most lookin' after an all). At the end of the day, we’re all expendable, so if the Dimaryp falls on top of us, I don’t think Salome’s goin’ to be sheddin’ too many tears over us.

So we leave on the ‘morrow! I go down to the stable to pick out some decent nags that’ll get us to the abbey in one piece, whilst Iago goes and speaks to Aurora (‘is new bird?) Later that evenin’ Aurora offers to go with us, but as a member of a chaos cult she’s refused. Probably the right decision, as otherwise all the ‘uman males will be too distracted ogglin’ ‘er and not lookin’ at the Dimaryp. Unfortunately, Iago ‘as cult business to attend to so ‘e won’t be goin’ with us. That’s less sniffin’ around we can do then.

Windsday, Fertilityweek, Seaseason, 614 TA

So the next day we set off! I get to ride my nag, but it seems to ‘ave a mind of its own, so I just let it follow the others. We arrive at the Priory mid-afternoon, and are greeted by the ‘igh priest Davida. I think she secretly wants to go with us ‘erself, but she introduces us to Martino who’ll be goin’ instead.

Over dinner, everyone gets to air their grievances / tribal instincts. It’s really sad to see to be ‘onest. Alfonso just wants all chaos destroyed (including the Selenites) and ‘e’s a bit sneery all the time for me to really warm to the fellow. Zoya wants a Troll state, Uthor & Phoebe don’t, and Martino just wants to study everythin’. I pipe up and talk about creatin’ some sort of buffer state, but it would need to be very long and thin, and as it’s not very fertile country, I’m not sure who’d want it.

Getting’ tired of all this, Josafina goes to the library to see if they ‘ave any more info on the Kobalosi (the little blue men). Apart from findin’ out they are nocturnal, she discovers that they worship the Dimaryp. That’s great that is, so it’s goin’ to be full to the brim with POW!

Ramos gets Zoya talkin’ (possibly after she’s ‘ad a few) and she admits that the Trolls will topple the Dimaryp if they gets the chance. After speakin’ to Davida we also learn that the terrain spirit may be just a tiny bit chaotic. Oh, and Ramos is makin’ a map of the journey. I remember ‘ow ‘e tried to follow that twerp with the Gem in Ursula by goin’ the wrong way all the time. The news just keeps gettin’ better and better.

Fireday, Fertilityweek, Seaseason, 614 TA

We leave pretty early the next mornin’, leavin’ the ‘orses behind and just takin’ a couple of mules, loaded with gear, who won’t be too frightened by a 300-foot high impossibly balanced structure loomin’ over’ead. Terrain on the fells ain’t conducive to ‘orses, and mules are pretty thick so ‘opefully they won’t realise the danger they’re in.

We reach a cabana by nightfall and decide to camp there. Zoya’s got a splittin’ ‘eadache from bein’ in the sun all day, even though it’s actually mostly calm and misty – that’s Trolls for you I suppose. We ‘ave 5 watches and I’m up just before dawn for mine – nothin’ really ‘appens, though Josefina apparently saw a few sheep jumpin’ over the moon – hmm, maybe she’s a closet Selenite ‘erself? You never can tell with these nautical types.

Wildday, Fertilityweek, Seaseason, 614 TA

We continue to make good time the next day, but don’t reach the ‘ide we’re aimin’ for – apparently it’s a good base just under a day from the Dimaryp itself. I don’t see much on account of it still bein’ a bit misty, but as Helios buggers off again, I can see a faint glow on the horizon to the Northwest – apparently that’s the Dimaryp itself! The last time the party were ‘ere it was displayin’ some Moon magic, so maybe that’s real Moonbeams I can see? Cor!

After Zoya cooks a decent bit of supper, I settles down for a sleep before me early mornin’ watch, but it seems like I’ve only been out for a second when I’m woken by a cry of warnin’. Lookin’ about through bleary eyes, I can just about make out Ramos & Zoya in combat with a monster out of a nightmare! It looks like an enormous snake, bigger than your average cave Troll, and as it rears up in front of Ramos it breathes noxious fumes on ‘im and takes a bite out of ‘is great axe! Blimey!

So I grabs me quarterstaff after pullin’ on me chain ‘auberk, notin’ that Uther & Joaquina are still asleep. ‘Owever, just as I cast Prot II to help me limbs a bit before I ‘ead in to ‘elp, I see Zoya bring ‘er maul down in a mighty swing that crushes the snake good and proper. It seems to slither down onto the ground in an ‘eap. Oh well, I’m sure I’ll get a chance to practice me weapon skills sooner or later.

Anyway, a few people start butchering the carcass (Zoya says she’ll be able to make some good snake steaks & burgers out of it), but as the ‘ead is cut off, we all see a glint of precious metal comin’ out of the skull. On further examination, it seems the skull is made of pure diamond. Wow! What a find! That’s got to be worth a king’s ransom to the right person!

Godsday, Fertilityweek, Seaseason, 614 TA

I spend most of my watch thinkin’ of what I’ll spend me cut of the diamond on (I might save up for some more ‘Ealing, as I’ve only got 2 pts and don’t think anyone’s got more than me). Anyways, the weather starts off misty and calm as usual, and it’s flummoxin’ me weather lore. Ramos says it’s goin’ to get damper and colder, so I either ‘ope we gets off the Fells soonish or that ‘e’s wrong.

We find quite a few tracks on the final route to the ‘ide, but nothin’ unexpected. There’s a few small human feet that are probably Kobalosi, very large feet which must be cave Trolls, and even a slime trail that might be a dragon snail. ‘Owever, all of ‘em are at least a few days old, and we don’t see anythin’ in the flesh as it were, and that’s ‘ow I likes it.

We reach the ‘ide without incident, which is a cunnin’ly ‘idden ‘ideaway (just testin’ out me lyric poetry there). Inside are a few survival knicks & knacks, as well as a small shrine to the terrain spirit – Martino offers up a prayer, but none of the rest of us feel like giving POW to a chaotic terrain spirit.

Freezeday, Stasisweek, Seaseason, 614 TA

After another uneventful night (we ‘ad our watches sitting on top of the ‘ide, which was pretty cool), we sets off westwards towards the Dimaryp. The terrain becomes a little more even, and the mists only partially ‘ide the enormous edifice loomin’ up ahead. Phoebe points out some flights of birds ‘eading in the opposite direction – you don’t need to be a Portents reader to tell the significance of that one and me ‘eart starts beatin’ a little faster in me chest. But then late afternoon or so, the mists part and I gets my first proper look at it up close and personal.

It’s by far the most imposin’ and ominous object I’ve ever laid eyes on. I mean, auntie Amelia was a real battleaxe and I still ‘ave nightmares about ‘er comin’ round the ‘ovel for tea, but she ‘as nothin’ on this monstrosity. A full 300 feet in the air and probably 400 across, the upside down poly’edron actually tips off the vertical, makin’ it look as though it really is about to come crashin’ down to earth. The others say it’s actually rotated since last time they were ‘ere, so it’s movin’ around as well! I’ve never seen anythin’ that exuded such a dark menace. Gives me the shivers I can tell you.

So, we start circlin’ the thin’, and takin’ notes. Phoebe ‘as a bird familiar (and a very impressive bird it is too – someone calls it a bird of paradise), so it gets sent up to ‘ave a look up top as well. No-one dares touch the stone, but it’s obvious it’s made from one ginormous block of stone. Uthor says it’s likely been done by masonic dwarves who ‘ave runemagic that can fuse blocks together. That’s still a ‘eafty amount of runemagic though.

The bird reports that the portal on the northwest side is blocked by a sealed stone doorway, above which there’s an inscription in both dwarvish and some ancient manic tongue. Of course, Martino gets all excited by this and starts translatin’ it. Apparently it says somethin’ like “Kharis the wicked within this tomb lies”. There’s some more as well, but it seems it’s not clear exactly what the words mean (that’s writin’ for you – no good ever comes of it). Uthor says that one of the dwarvish runes literally means ‘lich-rest’ and that rather than ‘lies here’ it might translate as ‘lyin’ in wait’. Oh great.

We mooch around some more, but we’re losing the light and nothin’s ‘appening, so I’m ‘opeful we’ll start ‘eading back. But the dignitaries want to stay ‘ere for the night! Stupid idiots – can’t they see that nothin’ good’s gonna ‘appen if we do that? But it ain’t my decision, so ‘unker down for the night is what we do, still in the lee of the Dimaryp.

Aaaaarggggghhhh! There be tentacles! Undead & Slimic ‘orrors! Run away!!

I wakes with a start, in a cold sweat. It must be just past midnight as Ramos & Zoya are on watch, but I can see almost everyone is bolt upright, in various states of distress. Looks like we woz all ‘aving a similar dream, and it ain’t pretty, or somethin’ anyone wants to talk about. With ‘ardly a word, we all tacitly agree that perhaps movin’ away from the Dimaryp and campin’ further away would be a good idea. It’s about bloody time too.

‘Owever, as we move away and start tryin’ to get back to sleep (though I’m not lookin’ forward to any dreams I might ‘ave), someone yells a warnin’ and points to the top of the Dimaryp. There we can see a ‘umanoid figure, cloaked in darkness surveyin’ us all. Then suddenly I ear’s a voice in me ‘ead that I don’t understand! E’s just cast Mindspeech on us all! E’s talkin’ in Auld Manic, so we gets Alfonso to translate for us.

“Who dares intrude on this unholy place, this place of corruption?” Well, Esteban’s our normal orator in this sort of circumstance, and sure enough, ‘e takes the lead and tries to find out as much as ‘e can. Apparently this bloke is a worshipper of Seth (that’s a version of Wraith), and ‘e’s a Sentinel, corrupted by a god of the Moon & Fate (NOT goddess, so ‘e ain’t talkin’ about Selene…). Apparently that’s why ‘e appears as a Mooney on every day bar Freezeday. There’s a tentacular ‘orror beneath the Dimaryp, and it needs to stay there for all of time.

So as Esteban keeps ‘im talkin’ and we try and think of anythin’ else to ask, suddenly ‘e says that ‘e wants to give us a ‘partin’ gift’. Well even I can ‘ear the dark sarcasm in this classroom, and sure enough, suddenly all around us, skeletal bones of great Trolls start pullin’ themselves together. There’s dozens of em!

Well, me and Uthor take a stance on the left side of the front line, whilst the non-combatants and the ponies try and ‘ide behind us. It’s hard to stop that many big creatures from flankin’ us, but thankfully some of them are quite a ways away, and their armour looks thin and manky.

Me first sling bullet flies true but the stone must have split apart on impact cos it didn’t seem to get past the scraps of leather the nearest skel ‘ad on. Me and Uthor ‘ad talked about how to prepare for a battle, and I cast Bludgeon on me quarterstaff whilst ‘is allied spirit gives me Strength. I also feel a spell ‘it me, but it’s Shimmer! Now I’m ‘arder to ‘it than before! That must ‘ave been from someone in the 2^nd rank! Wicked!

So as expected, the skels find it quite ‘ard to get a ‘it in. I take down my first combatant quickly, and although I some’ow miss with my next swin’ the skel in front of me gets ‘imself in a right tangle leavin’ ‘imself wide open as I return the complement. Uthor looks to be in no real trouble either, and quickly dispatches the ones around ‘im. On my right is Xavier, who also looks to be fine until one of the skels (with a chaotic beak attack) bites ‘im on the ear just as its body crumbles beneath it! It looks like it could turn nasty, but Xavier manages to dislodge the thin’ and throw it away. With the fight ebbin’ away around me, I turn to Xavier to see if I can stem the bleedin’.

It seems the real nasty critters attacked further down the line. One ‘ad runemetal bones (worth a bit, but ‘e was a real tank), and another was incredibly (for that read chaotically) dexterous. ’Owever, Ramos, Zoya and Joaquina took ‘im down in the end.

So it looks like every bad guy is dead (well, dead again like), and we’ve only ‘ad a few scratches. ‘Owever can we please get off the Fells and away from this thin’ now? I’ll take a season of tongue lashin’s from auntie Amelia any day rather than spendin’ another night next to this monstrosity.