The Diary of Raoul Grincheux

Part 18

In which our heroes battle the Demon in the Mirror and a lot of zombies.

Freezeday, Fertilityweek, Fireseason 612 – mid-morning: confronting the Demon in the Mirror

Lady Samal shouts to Dumalla that she’z holdin’ the gate open but she can’t do it for long. No idea wot she means.

I shoot me crossbow but the demon-fing iz dancin’ bout an’ I’z too fraid ov hittin’ Lady Samal an’ me bolt goes high. But Sieur Thomas hits it wivva flamin’ javlin an’ the demon dunt ‘alf scream – so we can hurt it, wicked!

But the demon reckons Sieur Thomas izza fret – annit’z probly rite – an’ jumps sudden-like, landin’ next to Sieur Thomas an’ rite in fronta me! I’z real freaked but I gets wun ovvem weerd moments when your fear makes you see sum odd fing an’ I reckon the demon’s kinda almost see-frew, like it ain’t really there.

Sieur Thomas blocks the fing’s claw wivvis sword but it goes rite frew it an’ Sieur Thomas, armour an’ all, like it wunt there! Sieur Thomas looks like a bit ovvis soul’s bin ripped out an’ flung inna void an’ he screams wiv agonie, like.

I can ‘ear Dumalla rippin’ off her bindin’s behind me. I woz gonna look for her ‘cos we dunt wont her layin’ into anyone from behind, know what I mean? But I can’t let Sieur Thomas fight the demon onniz own, like. So I draws me sword an’ dagger an’ step forward to help.

I’z kinda sees uvvers fightin’ around uz – Spathi runs behind the Mirror an’ hits the Humakti zombie. (I fort Humaktis can’t be zombies?) He shatters itz sword wivva a massive wack an’ near takes itz arm off. Tween Spathi an’ me an’ Sieur Thomas, Sieur Alphonse iz takin’ on the zombie in levvers wot looks proper tribal. An’ I sees Eliza backin’ up, fightin’ a Dwarf zombie. Blen kinda draws his swords but he dunt move to ‘elp her – dunno why, reckon it must be tactics.

Then the demon claws Sieur Thomas again an he grunts wivva pain but he sticks the demon inna chest wivvis sword, which seems to hurt it. But when I sticks it inna arm wiv me dagger it just goes strate frew an’ I dunt fink the demon even noticed an’ Sieur Thomas yells out that only magic hurts it.

Spathi an’ Sieur Alphonse are battlin’ their zombies but I reckon I ain’t no use to Sieur Thomas wivvout magic on me blades so I fink I’ll go lookin’ for Dumalla again, but just az I’m turnin’ away the demon duz this big back-flip an’ jumps over to the uvver side ovva fight, next to Stella anna a few seconds later I ‘ears her scream.

I ‘azta go some ways but just onna edj ovva lite I sees Dumalla gettin’ up ovva floor flingin’ bindin’s an’ stuff about wot Lady Samal laid her out wiv a coupla hours ago. I fink she knows I’m cummin’ up on her ‘cos she jerks an’ turns toward me.

I sees her mowf workin’ like she’z sayin’ sumfink – a spell, mebbe? I reckon I’d better get in an’ do her before she gets it off. She ain’t got no weppons nor armour but I can tell she still means biznis az she cums at me. I’za bit freaked an’ makes a compleet messov me first stab an’ parry. Lucky she dunt hit me nyver.

I blocks her next kick but me stab misses an’ she knocks me dagger a crack. I fort zombies woz slow but she’z movin’ like a snake – real ‘ard to hit, know what I mean? Behind me I ‘ears the demon giv anuvver roar an’ I reckon sumwun’s stuck it good but I dunno if we’z winnin’ or losin’.

Dumalla’s still mowvin’ sumfink an’ I makes out wot she’z sayin’ – it ain’t no spell, she’z mowvin’ ‘pleez kill me!’ ova an’ ova again, even az she’z tryin’ to kick me. I parries wiv me dagger an’ stick her inna arm.

I ‘ears sumwun scream – sounds like the demon clawed ‘em proper, sounds like Sieur Alphonse but then the demon givs anuvver roar so mebbe Sieur Alphonse gave az good az he got? Wicked!

I’z gettin’ the ‘ang ov this fightin’ – me parry hurts Dumalla’s leg an’ then me dagger rips off her arm – but she’s still goin’! Lumme! I gets the zombie wiv no weppons nor armour an’ I still can’t put her down. Behind me I ‘ears anuvver scream – Spathi I fink this time.

Then I stabs Dumalla inna face wiv me dagger – it’za a real ‘ard hit an’ wooda dun for anywun livin’ but she dunt even notice an’ I loses me dagger an’ all. I draws anuvver dagger wiv me rite ‘and but miss me parry an’ gets her boot in me conneries – cood av bin nasty but me kwilts stops it an’ I sticks me sword in her face again an’ sudden-like she’z down! I’z wun!

I turns round an’ finds I’z onna edj ovva dark wiv everyfing lit up round the Mirror. I’z in time to see Spathi put down the Humakti an’ Sieur Alphonse iz kneelin’ down tween Stella an’ Blen, wotz bofe onna ground, but Blen’s sittin’ up. The two Dwarf zombies iz still goin’ – Eliza’s battlin’ wun an’ the uvver’s standin’ ova Blen.

But sudden-like Lady Samal stands up from where’z she’z bin bent over the amulets anna Mirror kinda turns to black water an’ flows down to the floor – but I dunt see no puddle. Anna demon screams ‘No!’ in me ‘ead an’ just fades away – it woz lyin’ onna floor so it woz inna bad way.

Az I moves back inna lite the two Dwarf zombies drop they’z mattocks an’ take off they’z ‘elmets an’ I seez they’z faces – they’z mowvin ‘Please kill me!’ like Dumalla an’ they dunt move when Eliza cuts they’z ‘eads off. Anna same ‘appens for the tribal guy in levvers wotz lyin’ onna uvver side wivvis chest smashed in.

We’z wun!

Turns out the demon woz dun in by Sieur Alphonse an’ Sieur Thomas flingin’ flamin’ javlins but there ain’t nuffink ovit left now.

I only ‘ears wot ‘appened to Lady Samal onna way back to the ‘ouse – she got inna fight wivva spirit wot woz inna Mirror. It woz bigger than her an’ it cood ‘av got real nasty but for two fings. First woz the point ov Spirit Block wot she got from Ivan for rescooin Gertrude. That knocked down the fing a lot, to where she woz just bout even.

The uvver woz real weerd – Lady Samal woz kinda keepin’ pace wiv the Mirror spirit but she woz strugglin’ – spirit fightin’ iz like that, even a tiny vantaj can bury you. Then Ole Tar’s pet monkey – wotshisname – came outa the Mirror an’ just kept giftin’ her wiv Power to keep her ‘ead abuv water, know what I mean?

Wivvat ‘elp Lady Samal beat the Mirror an’ forced it to go back an’ that’s when the Mirror turned to water and flowed down, where it made a crystal onna green slab. She shows it round – izza big black fing, probly worth a mint, even wivvout the magic – annit just azta be magic, rite? Sumwun sez itza ‘tomaleen’ wot sounds a borin’ silly name to me.

The mazin’ fing izzat nowun’s ded! But Stella’z inna a bad way from being clawed by the demon an’ Blen looks ded pale from gettin’ a mattock inna gits. (You’d fink an’ Humakti wood be a ded cert gainst a zombie but he got chewed up pretty bad.) But we got Healin’ potions wot wood only go off if we din’t use ‘em so they’z rite as rain pretty soon – well, they’z walkin’, anyways.

So the toffs reckon it’z time to go – Lady Samal wonts Dumalla to cum wivvus an’ Spathi sez he ain’t gonna leave the ded Humakti behind. I reckon we shood take the lot but Sieur Alphonse sez we can’t carry them all an’ he reckons the Dwarves will like bein’ underground. But I ain’t leavin’ the guy in levvers wot looks proper tribal – close up I reckon he wozza were-wolf an’ I fink it’z only rite I carries a fellow were-kritta out, like.

Me ‘eart’s in me mowf az me an Lady Samal open the door, ‘cos we dunt know iffen it’ll open again. But it duz an’ we makes our way out – me an Lady Samal walkin’ forward an’ evrywun else goin’ backwards, like.

Then we gets to the rope an me an Sieur Alphonse shinny up it, no trubbel, an’ then we can hold evrywun else on safety lines – I’ze real worrited bout evrywun climbin’ but they’z all makes it up an’ we lifts the ded bodies on ropes.

But az we gets near the doors to the outside we ‘ears fightin’ – annit sounds like Trolls! Sieur Thomas sez to the uvver toffs that we shood send a ‘stelfy person’ to avva butchers, an’ of course he means me ‘cos nowun else cood ‘ide inna coal cellar at midnight. So I casts me Shimmer (again) and furckles up the passage to the door. I dunt reckon I duzza good job but I reckon them’z outside az enuff to worry bout.

From the door I sees a dozen Trolls, bout ‘alf an’ ‘alf Great an’ Dark, finishin’ off the last ovva bunch of scorpeenmen. I sees the last scorp go down to a gang ov four Great Trolls.

But behind ‘em, where we left our ‘orses, izza bunch ov beetles wot Trollz ride. Just az the last scorp gets splattered, I sees a Dark Troll, wot I reckon iz our old pal Ivan, an’ he’z ‘elpin down fromma beetle a little Mistress girl – it’z Gertrude!

I yell back an’ tell ‘em all to cum up to meet Gertrude an’ Lady Samal cums out to greet Gertrude an’ Ivan herself. I wips me ‘at off, respectful like, but I can’t ‘elp grinnin’ – never fort I’d see Gertrude again.

Lady Samal offers our anteevem wot we got from the Rooriders an’ their ‘ealer’s real grateful ‘cossa coupla Trolls got stung. In return she Heals Blen an’ Stella, an’ anywun else wot’z still beat up.

Lady Samal is worritin’ bout Pascal an’ I reckon Sieur Alphonse iz too (but I can’t see him – izzee still inna tunnel?) Turns out he’s safe an’ soes our ‘orses – ‘orses an’ beetles dunt get on so they’z moved them all way but they sends a coupla Dark Trolls to gettem.

Ivan’s carryin’ a rolled up carpet over his sholder. Gertrude lets go his ‘and an’ goes over to Lady Samal. She points to the carpet and then to Lady Samal. Then she points at Dumalla’s lockit an’ then to herself, like. Looks like she’z offrin’ a trade, I reckon.

Ivan tells Lady Samal it dunt need his Market spell so they duz the trade rite there. Gertrude gets the lockit an’ Lady Samal gets the carpet.

Then Gertrude cums round an’ gives evrywun a hug or sumfink. She hugs me an’ I tries a few words ov Ratspeech on her, to see if she remembers – she dun’t say nuffink but she nods an’ smiles – an’ she ain’t much ovva smiler izzat girl so I’z pleased. Then the Trollz all mount up an’ ‘ead west.

Lady Samal casts Detect Magic – the amulet’s magic an’ so izza carpet – turns out the carpet izza a Tapastree ov Revlayshun. It’za picture ovva meetin’ wot’z just gone, wiv Lady Samal anna restovus on the left, where izzall in sunshine, an’ the Trollz all onna right, inna gloom – an’ there’z today’s date onna bottom, Freezeday, Fertilityweek, Fireseason, 612 TA.

Waterday, Fertilityweek, Fireseason 612

We gets back to the ‘ouse pretty late but before openin’ the door Lady Samal duz Detect Enemies an’ Old Tar’s grave ain’t her enemy no more, so that’s alrite – we’z knackered but at least the World’s safe til next time, right?