The Diary of Raoul Grincheux

Part 50

We breach the door…

Freezeday, Mobilityweek, Fireseason, 614 – mid-afternoon

So I staggers behind the wall just as Lord Thomas asks Tarkwin to ask Martin to cast big Countermajik on him an’ me – ‘cos he finks we’z the big targets. Martin sez he ain’t got the Power an’ he’z not so good at big Countermajik. While he’z winjin, Lord Thomas sends up hiz hawk to look for the flyin’ fing.

Lord Thomas sez we can give Martin the Power an’ Silke’s still got a bit of Power so Martin givs it a go. It takes ‘im two goes for Lord Thomas but he duz me in wun, wot iz good ‘cos Silke’s nearly out.

While all that’s goin’ on, Lord Thomas’ hawk tries to Befuddle the flyin’ fing but turns out it’z got Countermajik too. The the hawk tries again, wiv a bit ov Power behind it, gets frew the Countermajik but dunt beat the flyin’ fing’s Power.

The reason Silke’s so low on Power is ‘cos she’z fully Healed me up. Lord Thomas reckons the Countermajik will stop them litenin’ bolts an’ mebbe uvver stuff. So the plan iz we go back in, charge for the door, where Stella will use her axe, Sarjint Bassett hiz mace and I’z got me teef while the uvvers hold off the scarecrows.

Lord Thomas givs thye shout an’ we’z off! Lord Thomas an me leadin’ (why I’z at the frunt I dunno) follered by Eliza an’ Clay wiv Stella an’ Sarjint Bassett at the back. I sees four scarecrows but two ov ‘em can’t move ‘cos we’z smashed they’z legs off but uvvers furver away is movin’ in.

But then cum the crossbows aggen – an’ they’z cummin’ for me! The first two miss but the next hits me frunt leg, wot goes numb. Anuvver’s stopped by me Protection but anuvver hits me back leg and then wun hitz me hed it evryfing goes dark…

I gets told later that Eliza got hit az well but her armour saved her. Clay drags me to the door. He stops a cupla bolts but anuvver gets past him an’ kills me! I calls to King Rat but he dunt answer back nun – reckon he’z alreddy dun a divint for me last week an’ finks I’z overdoin’ it. But then he cums to me, sez Silke’s asked too an’ he’z goin’ to put me rite back. Cors, I’z still KO, know wot I mean?

Sumwhere in all this, Lord Thomas’ hawk tries to Befuddle the flyin’ fing aggen an’ this time it gets frew but he dunno if the flyin’ fing knows. Enyhow, the flyin’ fing swoops down but Lord Thomas iz reddy an’ flings a flamin’ javlin wot hits a wing. The flyin’ fing sprays Lord Thomas’ leg wiv acid, wot knackers hiz greevz but the flyin’ fing flaps off, ‘cos it can barely fly no more.

At the door, Lord Thomas Heals me hed just az Silke Heals me frunt leg an’ I’z back in the fite!

Now we’z at the tower, sudden-like we all sees it proper-like. It’s bout ten-twelv yards high; no winders down low but arrer slits an’ battulmints on top. There’z gards lookin’ ova the top but they pulls they’z heds back sharpish. I can see sum sort ov spout up there to spray unwonted vistors wiv sumfink, probly acid. An there’z cat, wot must be Viola’s famliar.

The door looks burned; Stella attacks it wiv her axe an’ Sarjint Bassett wiv hiz mace an’ I gets me teef in the wood. The uvvers iz cuvrin us wiv they’z sheelds an’ holdin’ off the scarecrows. Lord Thomas haz his hawk do stuff up top but I dunno wot good it duz ‘cos he can’t tell us.

Az I gets me teef in the door, Lord Thomas Heals me back leg, wot iz rite nice ov ‘im. I’z only down a scratch in me frunt leg, now. It’z speshul-nice ‘cos Lord Thomas an’ Eliza haz they’z hands full wiv two scarecrows each. I bites the door hard but Stella’s doin’ the best ‘cos it’z wot her axe iz made for, know wot I mean?

Eliza iz missed by a scarecrow wivva spear an’ she parries wun wivva club but then Clay wacks that wun in the chest an’ it’z a gonna! Go Clay! A scarecrow clangs a singlstick off Lord Thomas an’ wun wivva hatchet just misses him.

I givs the door anuvver hard bite but it’z Stella wot’s doin’ most the damaj, like.

But more scarecrows iz cummin’ in – Clay gets wun ov hiz own an’ Lord Thomas iz takin’ on three! A spear misses Lord Thomas, then the wun wivva hatchet swipes, misses an’ clobbers hiz mate in the chest an’ the wun wivva spear iz down! Then the singlstick tinks off Lord Thomas’ iron. He swipes at the hatchet scarecrow but misses.

Eliza parries a spear an’ then she stabs her’s good in the head – anuvver gonna! I fink we’z gettin’ good at scarecrows. Clay parries hiz scarecrow’s axe an’ it parries him.

I bites the door but not az good az before – Stella’s hit ain’t az hard nyver an’ I reckon we’z gettin’ tired but there ain’t much left ov the door, wun good hit shood do it!

Sudden-like, boilin’ oil drops on us, from that sprayer up top. It misses Eliza an’ Lord Thomas ain’t hurt by hot stuff. It splashes me an’ hurts a lot but it ain’t majik so I’z ain’t harmed, like. But Clay an’ Sarjint Bassett gets hit in the arms an’ Stella’s saved by her majik.

More scarecrows iz cummin’ in – Viola ain’t ‘alf hot on her scarecrows. Eliza haz a new wun wiv an axe. Clay gets hit by an axe inna leg but it parries him. Eliza parries her scarecrow’s axe an’ it parries her. A hatchet tinks off Lord Thomas’ iron but then anuvver scarecrow wacks it’z club past hiz armour an’ Lord Thomas iz left hoppin’. The clubber parries Lord Thomas’ kick but then Lord Thomas takes the scarecrow’s leg off wiv hiz sword.

I bites the door aggen an’ Stella swings her axe an’ Sarjint Bassett hiz mace – sudden-like the door just falls in, rite off itz hinjiz! Az we looks in a rock bounces off me hed – ouch! Anuvver hits Clay’s shield.

But now we sees inside an’ it’z just like Martin’s drawin’, only tween us an’ the stairs iz four more scarecrows. I sees the stairs haz three big barrels blockin’ ‘em an’ two ov Viola’s gards iz behind the barrels wiv crossbows.

Sarjint Bassett goes for the left scarecrow, ‘cos he’z on the left. I goes for the next along. Stella charges the wun on the rite. But Lord Thomas an’ Clay an’ Eliza iz still holdin’ off the scarecrows from the gardin, so Stella gets two…

Lord Thomas, Eliza an’ Clay backs frew the door bringin’ them’z scarecrows wiv ‘em. Then we all gets hit by a Wardin’ – me an’ Lord Thomas iz alrite ‘cos ov Martin’s big Countermajik but the Wardin’ hits Eliza inna leg, Clay inna arm, Sarjint Bassett inna chest an’ Stella inna tum.

But the good news iz that the scarecrows followin’ us in gets hit too – two are gonnas an’ anuvver loses a leg! Only two make it in but more iz cummin’. The two gards shoot they’z crossbows at Sarjint Bassett – I wunders why they’z ain’t shootin’ at me but I reckon it’z ‘cos they ain’t got no more Multimissiles. Both miss an’ the gards leg it up the stairs – reckon they’z ded scared – an’ they’z shood be!

Sarjint Bassett parries a club. Mine’s got a club too an’ sticks it in me teef where I givs it a good bite. Stella parries a hatchet. A club hits her inna leg but she takes a scarecrow’s hed cleen off!

Back inside the door, Lord Thomas parries a hatchet an’ Eliza parries an axe an’ her scarecrow parries her.

More scarecrows cum in the Wardin’ – wun loses an arm, anuvver a leg, the last wun’s chest goes poof!

Sarjint Bassett parries hiz scarecrow an’ he hitz it inna leg. My scarecrow parries me bite aggen but this time I gets good an’ ‘ard – I crunches the club to matchiz an’ get my teef in the scarecrow’s guts an’ it sitz down! Stella parries a club an’ then she wacks her scarecrow inna chest an’ it’z down – that’s bofe hers iz gonnas!

His scarecrow misses Clay an’ he wacks it in the guts. Eliza parries an axe but a club hits her leg but it’z just a brooze. The scarecrow parries her spear. Thomas an hiz scarecrow parry each uvver.

Lord Thomas, Eliza an’ Clay has seen this cummin’ but bout now the flyin’ fing turns up – since Lord Thomas knackered itz wing wiv hiz javlin, it’z bin crawlin’ ova an’ now it follers inna tower, passin’ Lord Thomas. He backs off an’ Eliza backs off to make a line wiv Clay on the uvver side. They all gets follered by the scarecrows.

First I know, I ‘ears sumfink squelchy behind me so, ‘cos me scarecrow can’t move, I turns round to see wot’s wot. Close up, the flyin’ fing iz ded demony an’ kinda insect. It’z body iz in bits, like insects an’ worms, but it’z got tenticls, pincers, bitin’ bits for its mowf an’ all that – looks like it’z got a cob on for me, but I dunno why ‘cos it wunt me wot knackered itz wing, like.

Meanwhile, Stella’s cum back to ‘elp Eliza. Lord Thomas ‘ops up onna bench, still fitin’ hiz last scarecrow. Sarjint Bassett smashes hiz scarecrow’s hed an’ it’z a gonna! I steps a bit away from me scarecrow but it can’t me nun enyways.

Stella parries an axe but a club hits Eliza inna hed – just a brooz. Then Eliza hits it back in the hed an’ it’z a gonna! Clay an’ hiz scarecrow parry each uvver. Lord Thomas parries hiz an’ then he kills hiz scarecrow too.

The demony flyin’ fing can’t fly too good but it flaps ova at me. I sidles over to Stella ‘cos I needs ‘elp wiv the demon, know wot I mean? But then Lord Thomas an’ Sarjint Bassett cum ova to ‘elp out too.

The last scarecrow misses Clay but Clay dunt miss it an’ that’s anuvver scarecrow gone! Eliza’s wacks hers inna chest, wot’s anuvver brooz – reckon she’z gonna be black an’ blue, that girl. But she spears it inna hed an’ that’s the last scarecrow gone!

The demon screemz at me an’ Stella – bluddy defnin’, I’z tellin’ you! Stella parries a pincer then anuvver pincer parries me bite – but I get it good an’ crunch the pincer an’ get me teef in itz hed! I can tell it felt that!

…it tastes kinda funny, mebbe like insect but I’z gettin’ shrooms, know wot I mean? It punches me inna guts but I dunt feel nuffin’. Then Sarjint Bassett hits it inna bum an’ Stella in it’z chest but it’z still goin’!

Eliza an’ Clay haz bin mauled by the scarecrows so they’z set to bindin’ they’z wounds but the demon is still goin’ at the rest ov us. First, it spits acid at Stella, burnin’ up the armour on her leg. Then a pincer hits me in the hed. Lord Thomas gets a cut wiv hiz sword but the demon blocks it wiv a pincer. Then Stella blocks a punch wiv her axe…

…but we’z all bin waitin’ for the moment we can hit it where it hurts an’ we all hits it – I bite it good in the hed – an’ it dies!

We’z won! Well on this floor, enyroad.

Silke an’ me Heal me wounds – I’z not hurt now but there’z hardly no Power left at all. The others iz knockin’ back Healin’ poshuns while Lord Thomas shifts them barrels. It’s time to go upstairs. Lord Thomas leads, after sum proddin’, then it’z Sarjint Barrett, me an’ the uvvers bringin’ up the rear. But az they steps up, sumfink rite majikal glows an’ Lord Thomas an’ Sarjint Barrett reckon they’z bin cursed a little bit.

Next floor haz a cross wall like the first wiv two arches but there’z four or five doors all round. It looks ded nice wiv curtains ova a deep purply-red colour wot Stella sez is burgundy. In each arch iz a manikin wearin’ a suit of cuir boulli.

Anuvver majik fing glows an’ Sarjint Barrett sez he’z feeling a bit wobbly but he duz a Detect Enemies an’ he reckons most ov ‘em iz nhext floor up, there’z just wun on this floor.

Rite now a big row blows up tween Eliza an’ Lord Thomas ‘cos he wonts to poke about wiv the mannikins an’ mebbe sort out the enemy on this floor, while she reckons he should be ‘showin’ sum leadership’ up the stairs. I fink she haz a point but I wunder if the enemy on this floor iz Viola? Mebbe she’z waitin’ for us to go up so she can go down? But then I reckons we probly can’t detect her enyways, wot wiv her bein’ all wizardly an’ that.

So it’z Sarjint Barrett wot leads us up the stairs again, leavin’ Lord Thomas to look at them mannikins.