The Diary of Raoul Grincheux

Part 53

Back to the tower – to find looters have beaten our heroes to it…

Fireday, Mobilityweek to Godsday, Illusionweek, Fireseason, 614

While we’z waitin’ for Eliza to get sum trainin’ in, the Rhadis giv us free lessons on wot the law iz – wun porc sez if I knows the law it’ll be eezier for me to not brake it – bluddy cheek! But I sits in the lessons enyway – probly be good to know how to get around it sumtime, know wot I mean?

An’ I takes the time to ask King Rat for Free Ghost – I dunno wot’s ‘append to Robbie but I dunt like to fink hiz spirit iz stuck in that garden so if he’z about I can send him on hiz way. Cors, it’d be nice if I cood bind him aggen but that ain’t gonna ‘appen.

Lord Thomas iz tryin’ to get ‘reprayshuns’ for evryfing we lost at the tower – well, for wot he lost, enyway. But I reckon he’z outa luck wiv that ‘cos the porcs just kwote the law at him. Enyroad, I reckon a lot ov our losses woz down to bad plannin’. I shood ‘av switched to Protection instead of Shimmer an’ we all shood ‘av stayed togevver in the tower. Next time we’z gonna hold sum doors ova our heds.

But we’z goin’ back, sez Sarjint Bassett, ‘cos the porcs want more evdens – an there may be sumfink worf lootin’, ov cors, but Sarjint Bassett sez the porcs get their share, wot iz fair enuff since they’z bin payin’ for Healin’ an’ givin’ free teachin’ an all.

Lord Thomas wonts a wagon to carry eny loot but the root’s too ruff for that so we’ll just put it on our ‘orses – frankly I’z ‘appier on foot enyway. Lord Thomas dunt wont us to be short-handid so he sends Tarkwin off to get hiz ‘lite cavlry’ from hiz state – but when they turns up they’z just pezzants on ponies.

Godsday, Illusionweek to Waterday, Truthweek, Fireseason, 614

So we sets off, mob-‘anded – the wevver’s sunny an’ ‘ot an’ we dunt meet nowun an’ nuffin ‘appens on the way. Eliza’s cookin’ iz reel nice.

Waterday, Truthweek, Fireseason, 614 – mid-morning

We cums ova the hill to see Violetta below us aggen. We can see the ground round Viola’s cottij is all mucked up – dunno wot’s dun that. (I ‘opes it ain’t more demons!) We heds down to Pansy Cottij to see Phil an’ Rosa an’ they cums out az we ride up. Az we gets off our ‘orses we can see Martin’s kinda loiterin’ inside – I fort he woz livin’ in Viola’s cottij?

I ‘ear Phil tell Rosa there’z a lot ov us an’ he’z ded rite there. Then they tell us that two ov Viola’s thugs wot ran away came back on ‘orses wiv sum mates and looted the cottij an’ tower. Lord Thomas blames me for that, ‘cos I was sposed to be watchin’ ‘em, but I woz worritin’ bout him an’ the uvvers so I went upstairs to check on ‘em. Turns out the thugs reckoned Viola owed ‘em wages. Parrently, the two thugs went in the tower but their mates staid at the cottij. Phil an’ Rosa heard ‘em smashin’ stuff az well az lootin’, but then they all ran off when three demony fings (like the wun we killd) came out a tower winder an’ screamd at ‘em. This woz all bout six or seven dayz ago.

Phil sez there ain’t enuff room in hiz stables for all our ‘orses so Lord Thomas tellz hiz ‘lite cavlry’ to watch ‘em while we duz our lootin’. We’ll do that an’ cum back for lunch ‘cos Rosa’s a pretty good cook. We’ll call Martin ova to cast Countermajik on us before we go in the tower.

So we’z back in the villij an’ it’z good to be back on me feet after two dayz ridin’ – I ain’t no cavlry. But we’z not got a third ov the way to the cottij when three demony fings flies out a top winder. They go for us, screechin’! Wun is dark grey an’ bout the same size az the wun we killd before, the uvver two iz smaller an’ paler. I cast Speedart an’ Lord Thomas an’ Sarjint Bassett casts Protecshun on all ov us. Lord Thomas puts us in a triangle wiv Tarkwin in the middl – wot’s good ‘cos it meens Lord Thomas iz protectin’ hiz skwire.

So the demons swoop in – my shot misses ‘cos I can never hit enyfing wiv me crossbow an’ Clay misses too but Eliza, Stella an’ Lord Thomas all hit the big wun but it’z still flyin’. Then I’z loadin’ me crossbow az the fings attack. Wun spits acid at Stella, wot burns frew her belly armour an’ I can see that hurt. Anuvver hits Clay’s leg an’ that’s hiz armour gon an’ I fink he’z hurt too. The last wun gets Lord Thomas’ shield but that ain’t acid, it’z sumfink else.

Lord Thomas gets hiz own back wiv a Firearrowed javlin, then Eliza an’ Stella bofe hit the big wun aggen twice. Sumhow it’z still flyin’ but I reckon they’z had enuff ‘cos they swoops back off to the tower an’ we carries on to Viola’s cottij.

But just az we gets there, I ‘ears shoutin’ behind us – it’z Martin. He waves hiz arms an’ points at Stella an’ then I fink he casts Mindspeech ‘cos she sez he’z cum ‘alf way ova ‘cos he forgot to warn us bout the rats. (I reckon Viola woz usin’ rats az bound spirits, an’ that’s sumfink I wont to see about.)

At Viola’s cottij we find the door open an’ the place iz looted. Enyfing worf ‘avvin an’ all the food iz gon an’ Lord Thomas iz blamin’ me aggen. First fing we check iz the magik door in the cellar, but it’z shut.

There’z nuffin’ ‘ere worf ‘avvin so Lord Thomas wonts to go strait on to the tower so Stella goes an’ fetches Martin. Stella an’ Eliza are rite short on power but Martin givs ‘em Countermajik for free but the rest ov us givs our own Power. Martin an’ Clay heals Stella – I reckon that acid hurt her a lot!

So it’z off to the tower aggen. The door’s open an’ rite away we can see the tapestries iz gon. Lord Thomas leads the way up the stairs follerd by Eliza, Sarjint Bassett, me, Tarkwin an’ Stella – Clay stays at the bottom ov the stairs. But then I ‘ears rats squeakin’ from the basemint. I yells out that they dunt need to worry ‘cos we’re frends but they squeaks back that they reckon we’z food an’ I reckon they’z evil Chaos rats! Merde!

Stella warns they’z cummin’ up behind us so Lord Thomas orders us all back down to the ground floor where we forms a ring round the stairs. I draws me sword an’ dagger an’ casts Shimmer.

Two rats cum out, wun wiv horns like a ram goes for Sarjint Bassett on me left, anuvver goes for Clay wot dodges it’z gaze attack. It bites Clay in the guts but then Stella hits it in a leg an’ it curls up. Eliza hits the horny rat in the leg then I stabs it in the guts an’ it’z ded!

Two more rats cum out an’ go for Eliza an’ Stella – Eliza’s iz ded big, biggest rat I’z ever seen, big az a dog. Stella’s haz snakes for hair. I stabs Stella’s in a front leg wiv me sword. It misses Stella an’ she hacks off itz hed!

Eliza hits the big rat in the front leg but it dunt seem to notice. Then Sarjint Bassett an’ Lord Thomas bofe miss (Lord Thomas tryin’ to squish it wiv hiz sheeld). The rat bites Eliza but her armour’s good. Then Lord Thomas wacks it wiv hiz sword but the rat’s still goin’ – that’s wun tuff rat!

Two more rats cum out – wun goes for me, the uvver for Sarjint Bassett. Lord Thomas misses the big rat wiv hiz sheeld. Eliza parries it an’ Lord Thomas hits it wiv hiz sword aggen but it’z still goin’ – this iz why Chaos iz so evil, know wot I mean? Sarjint Bassett kills his rat an’ Stella kills mine.

Then the big rat makes a brake for it – Lord Thomas an’ Sarjint Bassett kill it but Eliza whirls round, misses the rat, busts an armour strap an’ stabs Sarjint Bassett in the arm sumfink crool! He dunt ‘alf giv it sum but it woz an axsident – this iz wot ‘appens in a fite up close an’ nasty.

There’z a bit more squeakin’ down below but I reckon they ain’t cummin’ up – we’ll ‘av to deal wiv ‘em before we go but first we goes up the stairs to the top floor where we had our fite wiv Viola. On the way up the stairs I asks Lord Thomas for Bladesharp on me dagger. While he’z doin’ that he duz tactics – he’z gonna lead Sarjint Bassett an’ Eliza frew wun room an’ a big slidin’ door while I leads Stella an’ Clay frew the left door strait into the room where the demons iz waitin’.

In the room, Lord Thomas an’ Eliza go for the demon on the rite, Stella an’ Clay for the wun on the left, I goes for the wun in the middl. Sarjint Bassett is waitin’ behind to see who needs ‘elp.

Close up my demon looks kinda insecty. It’z got insect jaws wot go sideways an’ hefty lookin’ pincers – an’ lots ov legs, like. It looks nasty an’ I ain’t about to bite it.

The demons all screech at us an’ it makes me ears sing, I can tell you. Stella an’ Clay reel a bit but they bofe parries pincers. Then it bites Clay in the chest – ouch! It parries Clay but Stella wacks it in the chest. Still goin’ tho.

Then I shows off me Ratlord skills – I duz a perfect parry ov a pincer wiv me sword but the uvver pincer hits me in the hed, wot stings. Lucky-like the bite misses, ‘cos ov me dancin’ about, an’ then I stabs it wiv me dagger, slidin’ tween two plates ov its chest armour. I dunt get much force in but I knicks sumfink inside an’ it goes down, coffin’ blud!

To me rite, a pincer slashes Lord Thomas in the guts but hiz iron saves him. The demon parries him an’ Eliza but Lord Thomas hacks a pincer off an’ a leg wiv it. Eliza parries the bite.

I finish off me demon in case it heals itself or regens or sumfink (you never know wiv demons) while Sarjint Bassett ‘elps Stella an’ Clay.

The rite demon spits in Lord Thomas’ face – poison? It hits him wiv a pincer but misses Eliza wiv itz bite. Then Lord Thomas an’ Eliza bofe clock it in the chest an’ it’z down!

The left hand demon misses Stella wiv it’z acid spit an’ Stella parries a pincer while Clay backs out to heal hiz chest. The demon misses Stella an’ Sarjint Bassett an’ then Stella wacks it in the chest an’ it’z a gonna!

When they’z ded, they all just turn into yucky-smellin’ muck – yuk!

I takes a look at Lord Thomas’ face – I reckon it’z a contact poison, wot iz good ‘cos it’z slow, but I can see it’z makin’ hiz face freez up so it’z paralysin’. It’z just a smear but me nose says it’z ded strong. I’z gettin’ good at treatin’ poisons ‘cos I’z been workin’ at it for the last few seasons since the last time Lord Thomas got poisond an’ I cleans him up good an’ proper…

…but the poison’s reel strong an’ Lord Thomas sez he can feel hiz muscles crampin’ – that’s a bad sign. It’z a good fing the poison’s ded slow ‘cos it givs him time to get out the tower. When he cums back ten minutes later, he sez the poison got him but Helios brort him back, rite az rain…

But that’s anuvver wun ded!

So we search the tower from top to bottom. This room is an alkmical labotry but the thugs smashed all the glass. Clay goes frew it all but dunt find nuffink worf ‘avvin.

Wun fing we duz find iz a load ov books – I reckon the thugs coodn’t reed so dint reckon the books wood be worf much but since I’z bin workin’ for Lady Samal I’z learnd sum books iz wirf a mint to the rite geezer, know wot I mean? I find I can read sum ov the books, the wuns in Heliopolitaine, but not the wuns in Lunatic.

Then Clay duz a detect an’ finds sum books iz majik! The names ov the books iz all sorts but when we looks at ‘em they’z hollowd out inside wiv fings in ‘em wiv a labels sayin’ wot they iz! There’z a Power krystl; a flat stone fing cuvvered in levver wiv sum sort ov scratcher wot translates Darkik to Mannic; a small rubber fing like a gerkin wot rubs out ink; a larger rubber fing like a cucumber wot’s for girls when they’z feelin’ frisky but ain’t got a man about; an’ a majik dagger wot’s baned gainst just the sort of demony fings we’z bin fitin’!

I’z the only wun wot uses a dagger so I ask if I can ‘av it – Lord Thomas sez I can carry it until we divvy all ov it up. (I ‘opes we dun’t ‘av to giv it to the porcs.)

The bookcase haz loads of dairies ov Violet, Veronica an’ Viola. Violet’s writin’ looks ded diffrent to the uvver two, wot look the same – ‘cos they’re the same person, right? An’ there’z books wot can teach stuff like Mineral Lore, Woodworkin’, how to set traps an’ wun bout the poltics ov Loonyport, wherever that iz.

We checks out the rest ov the floor. We find Viola’s bedroom – it’z got a big four-post bed but there’z handcuffs on each post, just like the wuns at Sarjint Bassett’s belt. This iz how she got poor Sam.

Just two more floors an’ the basemint an’ we’z dun.