Come As You Are

The ongoing tale of William, Son of Ophelia of House Rebma, and of the Line of Barimen in the Courts of Chaos.

I leave my cousins and head home to Ascaris, the double day and no sleep catching up to me. As I prepare myself for bed, I ponder the nature of Chaos Houses and their lack of their equivalent in Amber. Given that we are stability and they are change, there is a curious fluidity to politics as I have seen it in Amber. While there are groupings amongst the Elders, and some that are starting to form among our generation, I do not feel that those groupings have the unity of a Chaos House. Of course, Karm is an example of a House with its own fractures. Does Ascaris have the same flaws, merely hidden from my view because of my closeness to Cymnea?

Is each Elder in Amber the equivalent of a House? I would say they are generally more puissant than a Chaos Lord – even with their individual and numerous commands of Logrus, a Lord of Chaos cannot usually stand against an Amberite if matched appropriately. Could I or Darig slay a Chaos Lord? I think we could.

So what then is the strength and purpose of a Chaos House? To give Chaos some of the Unity that Amber can demonstrate?

Too tired. Off to bed.

My night is dream free and I am woken by DeLambre. I am summoned to breakfast with Cymnea. Rising quickly and dressing, I join grandmother at her table. She waits for me to finish eating and then says “My dear boy. How can you come back from the opera dripping with blood, but after assaulting a Major Chaos House your hair is not even mussed?” She pauses, the quietly says, “I really do think I could not be more proud of you than I was, but I am. Well done!”

As I sit there, flabbergasted, she smiles a wicked smile and changes the subject entirely. “You and I are invited to see Melvin attempt his heritage. You should bring Rachael. And I would like to see her before we do. It’s about time we met.”

Desperately I choose to focus on the invite. “Melvin calls himself craven and timorous ... Is that normal?”

“Normal for Melvin.” She says, dryly.

“Normal for Barimen? If not, we should change that.”

She nods, in agreement of our purpose in building him up. “Now, don’t you have things to do?”

I bow, and head out to find DeLambre. As we prepare to leave, I grab ink and paper and scribble a quick note to Rachael, informing her that I am alive, that I’m on my way over, that Cymnea wishes to meet her and that we’re invited to something to do with Melvin later. I ask DeLambre to make sure the note reaches Rachael before we do and I hear him informing a demon so, instructing it not to tell Cymnea. The demon looks caught between fire and ice.

We make our way to Sphere Four and are greeted by Oromiel, one black and one white wing as before. She greets me politely, but even I can tell she does not approve of me. She informs me that Rachael is preparing, and that I might wait in the garden for her.

Rachael appears, sans wings but as beautiful as ever. She offers me water and I take a cup, toasting her. She thanks me for my note, appearing surprised that I could be thoughtful. She agrees that she will come to see Cymnea – she was expecting it, if she’s honest, but she needs to explain something first.

Not all of those of Chaos who could be Chaos Lords and walk their Logrus do. Some, like Rachael exult in the changing of form, seeking to become so fluid that they are just creatures of their innermost spirit. She explained that the Mater Spirit that we encountered on the way to the duel was similar – its corporal form gone and only spirit remaining. She then apologised for the form of her words as she forced the Mater back from me. She should not have been so possessive of me, yet.

I grin, aware that I had been protected by her.

The conversation turns to Cymnea and her reputation. Rachael is somewhat scared so I seek to reassure her. “Remember that Cymnea has been in the same position as you. She left here to go to Amber with a Barimen”.

She misunderstands, and with a disappointed look on her face, she says, “You are returning to be King?”

“No”, I answer. “Not immediately, if ever. You and I have many worlds to explore together, before I might be King and you take your spirit form for the final time.”

We travel to Ascaris, where Grandmother greets Rachael kindly. I am dismissed so they can talk. Shortly afterwards they come out and we prepare to leave; Cymnea goes first and faster and we follow on. I ask Rachael how the conversation went. She tells me that it went well. Cymnea was sympathetic and solicitous of what Rachael will encounter in Amber. “She described the Queen’s Coronet but told me I wouldn’t have to worry about that... yet.”

We enter Suhuy’s hall – now in the shape of a ruined church, with a green moon hanging in the sky overhead. Once inside the hall is its familiar shape with 26 places around an oval table. I see Cymnea talking to Benedict so take Rachael to introduce her to him.

They’re talking with Dara and a man I’m told is Despil, her eldest son. She is talking to Benedict and she is asking his permission to leave with the Amberites. She, like me, is a wielder of the Pattern trapped in Chaos, and I offer her my sympathy and understanding. Benedict answers her petition with a curt, “I will think about it”, so I jump in feet first and offer that Dara could ride with myself and Rachael when we leave. Rachael, bless her, chimes in with a “Yes. That would be lovely!”

Benedict looks at Rachael for a moment, then to me and back to her. “So, this is your...?” He leaves the last word unsaid. Cymnea confidently states that the deal is all but done, and that shortly I will be able to make the official announcement. “Once you’ve made up your minds, tell me and I’ll tell House Seraph, dear boy. So that they hear the news privately first.”

Benedict looks directly at Rachael and addresses her. “Do you know what you’re letting yourself in for?” But he quickly apologises when Cymnea shoots him a sharp look.

As we talk, Darig says his hellos on a circuit around the room. Dirk is dogging his heels like a collie, shepherding him over to talk to Caine, Deirdre and Bleys.

Sorashi and Melvin arrive, one with a worried look on his face. Sorashi looks round the room for a friendly face. She avoids our corner; I hope because of Cymnea’s presence. Havelock talks to them for a while and then they move on to Llewella and Flora.

The conversations ebb and flow until Suhuy arrives with Dworkin. He speaks with Sorashi while Constance dives on Dworkin to ask him a question. They talk quickly then we are called to the table.

I am sat between Rachael and Constance, with Dara opposite me. Cymnea and Benedict are close by, as is Dworkin. Food is brought out and Rachael mixes sweet and sour on her plate so I do the same, trying a little of everything I can reach.

Constance and I talk about Julian and dreams. She wants to know of my time in the Abyss, and my memories of Rhiannon and Amber and Arden. We talk of family and upbringing – she missed Julian’s ‘dissection of conversation’ – something I’m not sure I would care for or miss. We brought Havelock into the conversation and he revealed that he was fostered with a family. Constance seems unusually interested in family and Amber history (and they are often the same) – perhaps regaining her father, and him formally acknowledging her, has made her more family minded.

She also told us both that Julian wishes to reward us for his rescue.

Constance asks Dworkin about the casting for the Opera – he tells us that convention is that if you can you play yourself, or an ancestor of yours. Or if you want to sacrifice yourself.

Suhuy interrupts with a toast to absent friends, and Sand stares intently at the chair opposite her. Figures start to appear in the chairs – a monk-like figure by Sorashi is first, and she recognises it. Then next to Havelock appears Brand, and Delwin opposite him. Sand has yet to notice.

Finally, Oberon appears in the seat opposite Sand, next to Cymnea. She is shocked – something I have never seen before. She recovers quickly and their usual badinage begins – familiar as family arguments often are. Oberon scatters barbs like caltrops up and down the table at his children.

He accuses Brand of stealing the Jewel of Judgement from the Unicorn, then from Corwin. He has to be told about the battle and what is happening with Random, Corwin and Fiona.

I reassure Rachael that not all family dinners are like this. I’m sure she can tell I am not being entirely honest.

Brand tells Constance that he wants a body – a real existence. Oberon tells her not to trust him.

The dinner continues and I chat with Oberon – one of the few people at this table I have actual history with. He asks what I have done with myself, and boasting a little I tell him that I have destroyed a House of Chaos and killed a Rimlord. When he hears that Oggil of Karm is dead he congratulates me, and then tells Rachael that she should worry when I want to fight more than to sleep with her. She blushes but I think I see her hiding a grin also.

Suhuy calls forth tendrils of the Logrus to clear the table and Melvin stands forth before Cymnea. He asks for her blessing to proceed. She says he will make her proud.

Suhuy gestures us all to the chapel. Sorashi waits for Melvin.

The chapel is full of the bodies of the failures – it’s possible that Suhuy keeps them here as a warning to those who might not quite be ready for the task.

Suhuy takes position at the end of the room, silencing Dworkin at the organ. Melvin comes in, ignoring the corpses. He looks to Sorashi for reassurance then approaches Suhuy. Suhuy turns him towards us all, and Melvin bids us to remember him as he is.

The music climaxes and Suhuy gestures: the urge to summon Pattern to protect is strong, but I squash it down. Two women scream – Flora and Sand, I think. Then the floor opens and an insectoid maw swallows Melvin whole.

The ghosts start to dissipate and Suhuy starts ushering us out. I check that Grandmother is fine – she says that seeing Oberon is bittersweet and I agree. I realise now he is gone again quite how much I have missed him.

I suggest to my cousins that we go to Brứ-na-Bóinne to toast to Melvin’s safe return.

Loeg greets Darig, Sorashi, Margrath, Rachael and me, and offers us drinks. He looks a little guilty at hearing that Melvin’s trial has started. Wine is brought and we drink. I also toast Sorashi for the support she gave Melvin, for which she thanks me. We then go our separate ways.

Rachael and I go to the Worlds End – a room with 5 arches – Rachael leads me towards Heartbreak, through an arch into a room that has windows out onto roiling mists. She takes my hand and says, “So, shall we discuss the proclamation?”

I look at her, and I smile. “First let me ask, is this what you truly want?”

Seeing tears in her eyes and an emphatic yes on her lips, I say, “Then let us tell my grandmother, and your House”.

We agree, and taking her hand in mine, I return her to Sphere Four, where the stare of Oromiel bounces off the shield of my smile. Bidding Rachael adieu, and with her kiss on my cheek, I return to Ascaris to tell my Grandmother that I am to marry.