Alaric’s Diary part 18: Metaphysics, Politics, and Weirdness in the Dungeon

In The Doom that Came to Amber

5^th Snake 3658 – dawn

There’s nothing like hanging about in a dungeon to give one the time, distance and perspective to consider the World – and principally the World beyond the mire I have created. Thinking about this takes my mind off my outraged eye as well as the sickly glow that is emanating from my left arm. Can’t even scratch the thrice damned thing.

My mind is also itching. Asmark has been to see me. The King wants a certain tarot deck in my possession. It may be the only thing that is keeping me alive.

Rupert is commanding Mira’s army and Paolo has not regained consciousness but is continuing to give Dark’s side of a number of conversations.

I reiterated all, well most, of the information I’ve been aware of: the nature of Dark; the machinations of the Unicorn and her ilk; her influence over the King and the influence of those women who surround the King; how Mira was brought up and Dark’s influence over her as her Grandfather.

He left me with a bottle of wine. He is a good man and hopefully some of this will reach the King’s ears. Maybe the Unicorn’s creature will start to think for himself – and act. Maybe?

Ahhh – and Mira can trump hack. Splendid.

I re-examine my situation after a friendly visit from Roger. The King must really want the tarot deck to bother applying the thumb screws. But has the King done this? Is Roger a key to Amber? He lives so close to the Pattern. He writes his gothic novel but it seems a work of prediction rather than fiction. He’s been here for years immeasurable and he’s fully aware of all the tricks we can use. Like Mother Bellano he has sufficient experience or powers to detect the truth when he hears it. A useful skill for someone with his profession. Or is he of Dworkin’s ilk as well? Or just a very old and wise man?

I have not resolved my moral issue. I cannot worship the Unicorn, knowing as I do what she is and what she represents. On the other side, much as I love Trump and therefore Mira, I am at odds with Dark. I do not believe he has anyone’s interests at heart bar his own. We do not know his interest – the one party so far not identified as attacking Amber are the attackers during Patternfall. Is Dark from there perhaps? He is so powerful – so powerful but collectively we can defeat him. As the Puck’s doggerel said, the sum is stronger than the parts. We need both Pattern and Trump in Amber – but my eyes are blinded to the implications of a sea change. Maybe I’ll ask Oberon when he comes to deal with me?

Paolo is also a key here. Paolo was given to me by Mira as my ideal companion in Mirabeau. He is a gifted artist and an Iconer. He went through too much at my side and spent too much time in Groombridge where he met his other aspect – Father Paul. He is maybe a Trump construct or aspect? A puppet [literally] moulded by Trump and now partially inhabited by Dark. Is Dark aware that Paolo still exists? If so, why would he make so many of his conversations known to his enemies? Unless, of course he believes poor Paolo to be dead. Is Dark still using Paolo’s body whilst he moves in Amber? Most importantly, can we attack Dark through Paolo?

There remain two worries in my head. Who has Dark replaced me with in the ceremony? And who will be the sacrifice? Asmark was right when he asked should it be Nayda. I’d lay odds that the King knows nothing of Lyon Abbey. His perceptions are based on Julian’s information and Julian is flawed when it comes to certain members of the family. Dark has never lied to me – but why Nayda? She is a husk – either an empty vessel or a Gateway to beyond. I could see the void in her eyes when I worked on her portrait in Mirabeau. Anya could fulfil either the part of Iconer [which she is] or sacrifice. I will attempt to contact her and somehow alert our Mother to her danger. But surely she of all people is aware of her own daughter’s danger?

I know a few other things. I will not be tortured and I will not be used as a sacrifice by either side. I must find the way.