Khitan’s Diary part 16: The Return of the King

In The Doom that Came to Amber

4^th Snake 3658

Here I am, lying on the floor, paralysed with shock. I think back over the events of the last day, trying to fathom where I should turn next? I have seen my most recent attempts to work towards the light turn out to be corrupted and I have to consider whether further external struggle has any worth when I am not myself pure. I shall have to seek purification before I seek to influence events further, yet there is so little time and I may feel compelled to act.

I have struggled with my beliefs and my duties, only to discover that I cannot currently trust myself.

I have wavered between the Unicorn, whose aspect has both inspired and repelled me in the past, and Mira, whose artistry is fine but lacking in deeper understanding. Mira seems to be a dupe of Dworkin, who seems untrustworthy, and possibly malevolent towards Amber.

I then convinced myself that there was a third way, involving an old prophecy that I remembered from years ago. I went to the library in Amber castle to read up on the old prophecy, hoping that I might be able to find a cause that I could enlist others to aid me in.

At this stage I was feeling hopeful of finding a way to redeem myself, as I had been feeling guilty about offering to help Alaric and then failing to assist him, even though I had felt that I was forced to offer assistance by the menaces from Mira. Perhaps a third way would allow for bringing the various factions together?

Alas! It was not to be! As I read the prophecy I realised that it was an evil prophecy full of corruption and darkness. How could I have failed to notice this before? At this time Aylwin and the Prophet of the Unicorn were also in the library. I pretended to be researching Corwin’s possible location, hoping that I did not give away my consternation.

I have also been to visit my patient (one of many – all of whom seem to be either contaminated or dead), Lord Danesh. It appears that he has part of my brain transplanted into him as a result of my work. This was confirmed by Morwaith. Interestingly, both Morwaith and Aylwin examined Lord Danesh and, whilst making embarrassingly exact studies, they failed to notice all the salient facts. This was probably helped by my own initial inability to comprehend what I had achieved (which caused me to convincingly claim that someone else had tampered with the patient), and also by Lord Danesh keeping relatively schtumm (though it would have helped if he had acted the drooling idiot).

It appears I have inadvertently created the most fiendish trap imaginable. Lord Danesh is kept alive solely by a spell within his own brain that maintains a part of my brain in relative isolation from the rest of his, enabling communication but not integration and eventual healing. It appears Danesh’s brain will not revert to its original form and he will be kept alive solely by this spell, which is powered by his own body. The spell is of such fine quality that at first I assumed it must have been cast by a great maestro, hitherto unknown. Yet on further observation I noticed the style was all mine; I had cast the spell, yet I had no recollection of doing so. The perils of trance-based magic, and of relying on the faith of the guard, Unicorn worshipers all. Aylwin said Danesh’s brain is contaminated by the Mythos, yet I could not see this. Further proof of my own loss of judgement.

Danesh agreed to work with me towards achieving greater power as we both know damning information on each other. I warned him of the dangers of ‘opening the way’ and informed him that the desire to do this was a dangerous form of contamination, which I was seeking to find a cure for. I arranged to send some Sufi poetry as reading material, in the hopes that this might delay the onset of his falling into Mythos clutches; I have found it useful in earlier attempts at purification.

Strangely a verse came from Faerie, advising that a cure for my contamination could be found in the Courts. The need is more urgent than that and I hope to walk the Pattern if the opportunity arises. However, that may be the better long term solution, as I guess it will remove the contaminated aspect of some of my powers. Further proof: who could have known to send this?

A third time I tried to contact Alaric; I must get him out soon, but not within Amber. He seems to be in a bad way. Perhaps he can help me get to the Pattern, but it would be best to rely on Aylwin or Morwaith to do this.

My last error of judgement was in trying to find Deirdre’s axe for Bathsheba (which she will surely need for dispatching Cthulhu), though if I was her I’d want a full suit of Pattern Armour too. The Pattern was vastly too powerful for me and threw me into this coma like state. When I recover I shall get this axe for Bathsheba and perhaps find a weapon for myself too (assuming I do not awaken to find myself embroiled in tentacles).

I also made the mistake of casually advising a surprise assault on Rebman headquarters, where I guess a group of militarily feeble priests are causing all the trouble with their Interstitial Pattern powers. I should have given more complete instructions on how to prepare with regard to avoiding sanity loss and using Pattern weapons. The plan was sound, but I feel insufficient call has been made on my powers.

An interesting new sorcerer called Terisa was at the meeting. I fear she may know some of the same magic that I do as she comes from that dread kingdom of Rebma (where I am highly regarded).

My recent encounter with Deirdre’s Axe makes me realise that one of my spells could be very useful. It would allow Pattern-wielding warriors to see the Mythos spirit tentacles and to knock out the priests from range.