Last Rites 1

Extracts from the Personal Diary of Barbara Smythe

 

So I have had an official letter saying that MI13 is no more. I am in mixed feelings; how can a government not have people researching into the occult? These things are real! Do they not realise that this isn’t all just fiction? I know that the country is in so much debt, debt that is incomprehensible to get your head round. Well I guess I had better stay in contact with the friends I have made. We may be the only last defence. Although I am still not sure how balanced I am feeling of late. Thank goodness for my family, they help keep me grounded.

 

Saturday 25th October 2008

As I am reading The Times, I am reminded of how delicate our mortal lives are. Sir Lionel Woodthorpe has passed away at his family home, Drummond House in Cliffside Argyll. The obituary says that the funeral will be invitation only; which is a shame as I would like to pay my respects. So glad it is a Saturday so that I and the children could go ice skating together before we go see Kung Fu Panda which was hilarious.

 

Monday 27th October

I get home to find that there is a signed-for letter waiting for me. When I open it, to my surprise it is an invitation to Sir Lionel’s funeral. Within it says to rsvp to Mary Paterson (the housekeeper). I decided to look on the web at other places to stay nearby as I am unsure about being around bereft emotional people. Find a hotel, the Lobster Pot, which has rooms so I phone them to arrange a stay for two nights. I contact my superiors they are not really happy with the Occult officer having time off over October 31st as a lot of our sites will be busy, especially Stonehenge – but at least there isn’t a need to open it at midnight.

 

Tuesday 28th October

Belinda has got in contact as she has been invited as well. We arrange to drive up together on Friday 31st.

 

Friday 31st October

After a long drive up with Belinda we arrive at the Lobster Pot to find that they have already let out their rooms. Fortunately this remote location has some holiday cottages, Belinda and I take one to share. We arrive at Drummond House just before 7.30pm to find that from the ministry there is James Elliott, Marmaduke, Mavis Enderby, and Amanda present. I haven’t seen Mavis for a long while it is good to see that she is still with us. Amongst the people invited I recognise Freddie Wincanton who works for the British Museum, Jenna Samson curator at the British Museum.

 

As I mingle I catch up with Marmaduke and have a heart-to-heart with plans for the future discussed. As we are doing this an American gentleman called Mr Green introduces himself. He is very appreciative of what we have already, discusses old friends who were unable to attend and asks me if I want to be recruited now the British ministry have closed their activities down. Saying, “If you wish to continue the good fight…”, he leaves me his card, which reads 555 7941”.

 

I go through to view Lionel. Around Lionel’s body there are two candles at his head and another two at his feet with a wooden platter which has a pile of salt and earth on his chest. Lionel has lost a lot of weight since January when I last saw him at the antiquities meeting. The room looks neat, tidy, well cleaned with Egyptian paraphernalia. I recognise an alabaster Egyptian funeral urn and an Indian looking ceramic bull with enamel.

 

Belinda and I leave the room. I let her know Mr Green’s offer and we head to the study to see if there are any specialist books there that need to be looked after. I recognise the Arachne Papers, Un Aussprechlich Kulte (a German copy of the Unspeakable Cults), Kultes des Goules (a French copy of the Cults of Ghouls), three different copies of the Book of the Dead. These books I am relieved to see are all locked up. Of the non-Mythos books there is an Encyclopaedia of Scottish Folklore by Justin Woodthorpe 1922 (this was written by Lionel’s father). This book falls open at a list of hauntings in the Hebrides. Belinda is busy looking around the room so I look at the Encyclopaedia of Scottish Folklore, which is very interesting.

 

Back out in the hall I talk with Emily the café owner and Mary the house keeper who is adamant that we must not mope as Lionel’s only regret was the murder of Sophie, his granddaughter.

 

At 10pm I have an extra cup of tea and make arrangements to walk back with Emily. After the cup of tea we head off and Mavis is still sat with Lionel. As we walk back I learn that Emily is very superstitious.

 

Saturday 1st November

I wake to a bright and cold frosty morning, head to the tea shop for a good Scottish Breakfast and then up to the church for the service. Reverend Rook conducts the service, which lasts about 40 minutes, then we follow the coffin out to the graveside where Thomas reads a poem. The poem doesn’t sound like a traditional poem as it keeps referencing going mad and “Death shall have no dominion”. This poem has left me feeling very skittish.

 

There is a medium size squat figure observing from the East transept near the car park. This upsets Lucinda and the locals.

 

Lucinda welcomes us back to the house: Mavis, Jenna, Marmaduke, Mr Green, Amanda and Overton give their apologies before they head off. Some locals give their apologies too, including the local magistrate.

 

Back at Drummond House the rooms are arranged to allow room for us all to mingle. Hamish Blawke invites us to the reading of the will. We are sat in the sitting room where the doors are promptly shut behind us. This is not what I was expecting but I can see that Lionel knew that he was dying therefore organised the wake and funeral.

 

Belinda, Thomas, Freddie, Emily, James and I are all left £5,000 on condition that we stay inside Cliffside for 48 hours after the burial to give Lucinda moral support. I decide to stay on and make use of the landline to contact family and work. Lucinda heads up to rest.

 

As I return back to the main part of the wake I ask Thomas if I may see the poem. I am so relieved to find that it is ‘And Death shall have no Dominion’ by Dylan Thomas, not a Mythos poem after all.

 

As I pass Mary I congratulate her on the good spread that she managed to put on. Whilst chatting to Dougal I find out that Sir Thomas Woodthorpe got the land which was built on the Prior’s House, there was a Tudor house built on it which burnt down and that Drummond House is the third one to be here.

 

Not long after Lucinda comes back down the stairs. She is looking intense. She seems to think that she needs to thank everybody for coming. She does this by grabbing their two hands and staring into their eyes. I am concerned but decide that it is best to watch from a distance as grief can affect everyone differently.

 

Suddenly she shouts “Why don’t you bother someone else you sad gimp!” I notice that she is talking to Robert Paterson (history student) who promptly leaves the building. I go check he is okay to which he replies ‘yes’ and wonders off.

 

Inside, I go back and check on Lucinda, who is with her husband going into the study. They return to the main room shortly after. Lucinda comes and thanks me but fortunately I am not treated to the vice like grip. She moves onto Belinda who manages to strike up a conversation with her.

 

The doorbell rings and Lucinda answers it. Next thing Belinda is taking Lucinda through to the kitchen and she looks like she is going to be sick and the Doctor follows them. We hear Lucinda shouting at the Doctor and Lucinda comes storming in to the lounge.

 

I go through to the kitchen to help Mary with the drying up as Emily comes in with what she says is Lucinda’s waste paper bin. She looks at a note saying “Dear Lucie, As we discussed last May….” She says this letter comes from the gift Lucinda got at the will reading.

 

I ask Mary why my surname Smythe caused such a stir, turns out that the local magistrate is Mrs Smythe and she isn’t well liked.

 

I head back to the Cliffside with Mary and decide to go and have dinner at the Lobster Pot. Turns out that is a gorgeous meal and head back to the cottage and leave the door unlocked so Belinda can get in.

 

Sunday 2nd November

Wow what a beautiful lie-in, sleep until 9. There is no sign of Belinda so after a wash I wonder to the tea shop, which is empty, so I decide to head up to the church for the 10am service. I sit down towards the back of the church until Belinda and party arrive who I then I go to join.

 

Reverend Rook announces there has been an atrocity – someone has dug up Lionel’s grave! For 15 minutes he goes on about the violation and calls down the fires of hell on the perpetrators. I am shocked to hear that this has happened but realise that the group that stayed at Drummond House do not react to the news.

 

As we leave the Reverend shakes everyone’s hand as they leave the church. He has a grim face to emphasise how bad an act of desecration this is. Lucinda stays composed. As she leaves the church Lucinda tells Mary to go home to her family as she has had a bad shock. The rest of us head off to Drummond House with Lucinda where she asks us all to sit down around the dinner table.

 

When we are all sat down James says, “We believe that Lionel wanted you to cast spells so he could revenge Sophie’s death.”

 

Lucinda replies “You think I’ve been doing spells!!!!!” Then carries on, “When it is all over Grandfathers body will rest in the grave.”

 

Emily, “We heard about David Fraser”.

 

Lucinda, “There is more than one but he’ll be the first”.

 

My head starts to spin and I start pinching myself to check this isn’t just a nightmare and any minute now I will wake up in the holiday cottage.

 

Whilst I focus back on the conversation in the room I realise that Lucinda has been pushed but will not state who the other two names are.

 

When Lucinda leaves the room I ask the others to be filled in on what Lionel has asked Lucinda to do. Turns out he asked Lucinda to turn him into a sluah (a vengeful undead) so that he can avenge those responsible for sacrificing her sister. We need to find out which god she was sacrificed to so that we can free her soul.

 

Belinda and Freddie head down the hill to the Fraser house. When they return they speak of the beheading of Mr Fraser in the bedroom and a book he had called, “Night of the Goat.”