Perchance to Dream

Extracts from the Personal Diary of Dr Elisa Jamieson MD

Late August:

After the incident at Silbury Hill we are debriefed by Ursula. This goes well and the incident appears to be all over but, as we are leaving, she stops us and advises us that while we have been successful as yet, it is only a matter of time before our weaknesses will cause us to fail.

When I ask her to explain what she means, she informs us that Adam Price feels we are not physically fit enough for the challenges ahead and has suggested that we are given physical and weapons training and tested by being put through our paces on the Royal Marine assault course. Well I thought I was fit enough but a borderline sociopath obviously knows better. There is one thing for sure, if I get my hands damaged in the slightest by this then they will be hearing from my lawyer regarding a very expensive damages claim.

I read the reports of what has happened since the incident and I note that MI13 must have decided that is time for the gate under Silbury Hill to be conclusively shut as a number of teams had being sent in there in the following months to replace the repaired sarsens, with a considerably more permanent Elder Sign, positioned permanently over the hole.

I note with a slight amount of shock that they also appear to have discovered that the source of the sounds we all had reported hearing were not, as I had thought at the time, the sounds of earth and moisture but were in actual fact something they described in the reports as moving voids. They appeared to have a considerable amount of trouble locking these things down until they called in St John who was able to locate them. After that they could be sealed using an unusual concoction of chemical slurry.

Hopefully I can now finally rest with the knowledge that nothing is ever going to come out of that hill again (well maybe not forever but certainly not in my lifetime, I would hope).

On a personal note, it has been a rather mixed period for me. First of all, Suzanne has moved out to go and live with her new boyfriend Richard. As to how long they will stay together is anyone’s guess. Suzanne is a loud boisterous bit of a slob and takes some getting used too. She can possibly be the worst cook in England; the woman could burn water. I may say these things but she is still my best friend and I miss her.

On a positive note, however, father has finally got the letter from the palace stating that he is in the New Years honours list. Maybe that will please him as he appeared disappointed when he found he was not on the Queen’s Birthday list. Which means, of course, that I am instructed in no uncertain terms to be there; because it is seen as a family honour and, as he constantly reminds me, he had to miss a regimental dinner to attend my graduation (emphasis on the my). He also ordered that a new dress would be essential for the presentation.

October:

One day towards the end of my training, I heard someone discussing the seeming disappearance of someone they described as ‘Jimmy the Dreamer’. I was later to ascertain that this was the nickname of Jimmy Wainwright, the man who had warned me about the possible interference after we had gone to seal the gate under Silbury Hill. (Maybe I should have contacted him sooner but it slipped my mind).

I expressed my concern degrading this to Belinda Durham but she appeared to have also forgotten all about him until I reminded her. We decided that maybe we should go and try to hunt him down. We were able to acquire his address from the personnel department and we decided to begin the search at his flat taking Barbara’s four-wheel drive.

We rang the doorbell at his flat and his landlady answered. She seemed friendly enough; she stated that until recently Jimmy had been eating with her and her family. However, recently he had become virtually a recluse she said that she was fairly sure he was in the room as she had heard him moving around upstairs. According to his landlady, Jimmy was only leaving his room when it was dark. I thought he might have been ill and asked if we could visit him; hopefully it is nothing more than a severe cold, how wrong I was!

Jimmy’s landlady agreed to show us to his room but she said he might not even open the door. However, I thought it was worth trying. Initially I tried knocking but other than a few noises it appeared to be garnering no success so I attempted to call through the door.

A few moments passed then I clearly heard movement within. Shortly afterwards, the door opened a crack to reveal a figure huddled in a dressing gown, reminiscent of the pictures I had seen of Nazi concentration camps.

Upon recognising us, he opened the door further and beckoned us within. The room was dark and messy but was still nowhere near as dirty or infested as Mavis Endicott’s flat. The curtains were closed and the room was dark so it took a few moment for my eyes to adjust.

I was shocked at his appearance; Jimmy looked decidedly unwell. He looked dreadfully thin and his cheeks were sunken and he huddled within his robe. Jimmy claimed that he had been suffering from a heavy flu but the main symptoms were now gone and he was getting better. He claimed to have seen his doctor and that he had prescribed Jimmy some pills, also that he had phoned in sick that morning. I was later to discover that at least he was truthful about the phone call yet not quite so about his condition.

I suspected that his illness was something much more sinister. Little did I know, however, his condition was entirely self-inflicted.

Jimmy then offered to make a cup of tea but I said that I would do it; in doing so, I also intended to check his fridge and attempt to make him something. Looking in the fridge, I noted that the contents were fairly sparse and that the eggs were nearly a month out of date. However, his milk was still in date so obviously someone had been shopping.

I made the tea and brought it to him and asked whether or not he had eaten, even offering to make something for him. Jimmy refused but asked me to liven up his tea a little, stating that he had some whiskey in the cabinet. I thought initially that this could be dangerous as I was unaware as to what medication he was taking. However, a small shot should not have been a problem as the heat of the tea would boil off most of the alcohol content.

When he was settled with his drink, I asked him about the phone call he had made to me when I was on my way to Avebury. Jimmy was not to give me a straight answer, however, but he filled in some gaps; to whit, he informed us that in his opinion Mavis was the prime suspect in sending the Mi-Go to stop us as she had previously had an accident when dealing with them.

I got the impression in talking with him that he did not hold Mavis in any high regard. He also gave us some more information regarding the Mi-Go, informing us in no uncertain terms that they were slippery and seductive. They would promise things like access to technological wonders beyond our understanding (like how to remove a brain from a living subject and yet not to kill said subject). All we had to do was go with them to their world. Our bodies, they would say, would be kept safe until our return.

Jimmy also made reference to Toby Higginbotham and how many who had worked previously for MI13 had also ended up in a similar state. He then said something that set the alarm bells ringing in my head, that he had no intention of going out that way.

Jimmy asked both Belinda and myself for our addresses so that he can contact us further. He then asked that we should leave as he was tired. I felt straight away that something should be done but I had no authority as he was not my patient. However, I expressed my concerns to the MI13 medical officer who informed me that he had received a sick note and that he would look into it and that I should not be concerned. (My god the man is a quack!)

December 16^th:

On December 16^th, I am surprised to find a package has been delivered to my post office box that when I check the return address, is clearly from Jimmy. When I open it, I find it contains an ornate wooden box with a latch. I find the box contains dozen sprigs of a certain plant that looked worryingly similar to cannabis. (Note: I have seen cannabis on a regular basis working in Accident and Emergency as it is almost a regular occurrence for it to be found slipping from pockets onto the floor.)

My knowledge of pharmacy told me however this sprig was possibly of a similar genus but not what I had initially suspected. The box also contained a slip of paper that read, “Chew the leaf when retiring and chant ‘HARR HARR HASS KOOM YAR KOOM SSSS DJETHOTH” [that last word struck a cord from our previous experience - Djehuti I think it was have to check my diary] and repeat until slumber intervenes for a festive surprise.” The note finished by stating that this is a social drug and that I should not go it alone.

Upon contacting Belinda, I find that she too has received an identical package. We decide then that we should get St John involved. I am quite sure he has partaken of Cannabis in the past and may be able to give some more insight. Again we decide to travel down to Avebury in Belinda’s car as the mini has been acting up recently.

We arrive at St John’s caravan slightly after two and find both him and Jules in residence. I note that he still has white hair from his earlier experiences and it is still in the style he adopted when he developed his Cameron persona. I judge that both of them seem better than we left them in August. However, I do note, as I suspected, Jules is not overly enamoured by the Cameron persona.

We show St John the items and explain who sent them. St John says that he saw Jimmy two months previously during his training and stated that he looked lethargic and unwell even then. This confirms to me that something needs to be done desperately, so once again I contact the medical officer and attempt to pursue him to intervene. He says that he will look into it again but is clearly not interested in following it up in my mind.

St John confirms that the sprigs are not cannabis or at least not of a strain he has tried or seen previously. We then decide between us that we should perhaps experiment to discover what this positive surprise amounts to. We also phone Adam to see if he is interested; he confirms that he is. Belinda also suggests that we contact Barbara Smythe. However, I am not entirely convinced, as she is presently not a member of MI13.

We decide that the best place to do this would be my apartment (Suzanne has moved out so there should not be any problem regarding space), as the caravan has insufficient room. I inform Barbara of my address. Adam already knows of course and I will be coming in with St John and Belinda so we set off.

We all meet up at my place and we discuss what to do. In the end, Barbara decides that she will not take part in the ritual but will stay around just to see what happens. The sprigs are handed round and the four of us each take one. The boxes are put to one side and then we start to chant.

I note that either the leaf or the mantra is slightly soporific. However, there does appear to be a scent in the air that also seems to be affecting Barbara, as I see her get to her feet, move over to the window and open it. I also note that she is in no hurry to return to her seat. My eyes then begin to feel heavy and I fall asleep. Barbara is later to report that the mantra seems to continue even as we appear to sleep.

I appear to instantly enter a dream like state. This is rather odd as usually dreaming only occurs during the deep REM sleep. Anyway, I have gone off the subject.

I note quite quickly that I appear to be falling but not in the normal sense as we appear to falling like feathers. I also note that I am surrounded by darkness but I can still see the others. I note a pale light below us that we appear to be heading towards and as we get closer it appears that the light is coming from several pale green flames.

We land softly on what appears to be a black stone floor. We are all lying in the form of a cross, feet together; Belinda to my left, Adam to my right, St John opposite. We appear be in a large square room and each of us is facing a corner. Forty-five degrees to my left and in front of me appears to be a large stone altar of the same black stone as the rest of the room. To my right, I note there are three niches, each containing a glowing green flame. As I look at the flames, I sense a feeling of yearning but for what I do not know. I decide to investigate further but as I approach the flames flare towards me strangely. I do not feel a burning sensation from them as they do this.

I do note one thing and that is that we are all naked. (I feel extremely vulnerable and self-conscious. I also feel there eyes on me. I try using my hands to cover up as much as I can - how I wish I had either longer hair or a third arm.)

Belinda moves up to the altar and finds a note supposedly from Jimmy. (Well I am certainly going to have to have a word with him as, so far, this experience is not what I would describe as ‘festive’.) The letter makes mention of several places with strange Arabic sounding names. It also gives us a place to meet him. It, however, does not inform us as to where we can acquire some clothing. I am neither an exhibitionist nor a naturist and have no intension of going outside in my birthday suit.

The letter states that we may be confused which I think is an understatement and also states that the stone around us is black basalt…

“Dear Friends,

I know you are probably very confused. Try not to be. You are in the city of Dylath-Leen, a somewhat dangerous place, but not overly so if you are careful. Do not speak to the merchants from the Green Galleons. Leave the city via the Northward gate and follow the River Skai. Once outside the walls of Dylath-Leen you will be in the Open Lands. Ask at the first dwelling that is not made of black basalt for the Temple of the Elder Gods at Ulthar, where I shall await you.

Yours with the best of wishes, Jimmie.”

There appears to be only one exit from this area and the others make for it. I decide it would be the best to follow.

As we move through the opening we notice four hooded robes hanging from hooks that we swiftly don. Oddly, it appears that each fits perfectly; odd that Jimmie has our sizes. But I digress; obviously, we were expected. I wonder, if Barbara had chosen to join us, would there be five robes?

There appears to be only one door. We decide to take a look before we step outside and notice that the city outside appears to be made entirely of dark grey basalt and that the sky is grey and heavy, as if expectant of a storm. We note that the street outside appears to slope up to our left and that everyone seems to be in a hurry. The people also appear to quite dull and blank; maybe it is because everyone appears to dress in long hooded robes, similar to those we are wearing. Hopefully this will help us blend in.

As we step outside and look back, we note that the Temple from where we emerged tends to stand out as a large black edifice. Oddly, most of the people here appear to be afraid of it, passing on the opposite side of the street.

Looking around, there does not appear to be any way to identify which way is north. We do note, however, that we appear to be on the Street of Tears which I must say does not fill me with confidence. Adam takes the lead here and decides that we should travel up the hill and ask someone the way; I agree. We decide it would best if we stick close together. As we move along I note something strange; some the figures, while humanoid, appear odd. This is confirmed when at least one pedestrian proves to be a six foot lizard, complete with tail!

No one appears to be willing to talk to us until we meet an old man with a turban and staff who appears to be watching us. Adam approaches him and asks the way to the Northward gate. The old man points back down the hill towards the harbour, which we can now see from our higher viewpoint.

We now begin the process of heading back down the hill. However, before we have travelled more than ten yards we see a man dressed quite differently running towards us. The man appears to be dressed in medieval garb, still in grey, though he is heading straight towards us, shouting and indicating that we should run. Maybe Jimmy has sent someone to show us the way?

This fellow has appears to have already upset to of the local populace as I note that there are two rather large figures pursuing him. I am unsure what exactly the things chasing him are but one thing is for sure, they are ‘ten feet, five hundred pounds of ugly’ and he appears to be leading them towards us. I don’t fancy our chances much at trying to convince those things that we are not with this guy before they beat us to paste so, discretion being the better part of valour, and all that, I decide to take his advice and attempt to show those things a clean pair of heels.

I manage to keep pace with the fellow as we run but we swiftly loose my compatriots. As we run, he tells me to look for somewhere to hide as he states the big things do not get tired. (It gets better and better, and if this is supposed to be a pleasant surprise I would hate to see Jimmy’s definition of an unpleasant one.)

As we continue to run, I begin to feel winded as I am a sprinter and not really into the longer distances. (Odd that I should feel tired as this is a dream and my body is at rest, this doesn’t make sense.) Anyway, once again I am off subject.

As we glance around, I notice another strange temple round the next corner, as does my mysterious companion. I don’t know if he realises that I have spotted the temple as he grabs my arm and he drags me inside before I can make him aware that I have spotted it.

Inside as I catch my breath, I note a few things. First, unlike the first temple, this one appears to be occupied as I can smell the cloying scent of incense and there is a sound of low chanting from the far end.

Suddenly the man grabs me! Suddenly I feel very vulnerable; my friends are elsewhere and all I have covering my nakedness is this robe. Now this guy who we do not know is starting to get grabby. I move to slap him but he blocks my blow. Then I note that there are two more figures moving through the door who I recognise as St John and Adam.

It appears that Adam and St John saw where we ducked into and decided to follow us once the two creatures had moved on. We decided then to move out of the temple and back in to the street. A few moments later Belinda joined us.

The stranger then informed us he had been here before and that we stood out as strangers. He also informed us that the large ugly creatures were known as Moon Beasts but he was not forthcoming as to why they were pursuing him. He also informs us that the old man we asked for directions is in fact one of the merchants of the Green Galleons. Now I see why we were warned not to talk to them as he clearly directed us in the opposite direction from the heading we wished.

The man told us that his name was Alex and that he was a policeman. As the man talked I noticed that he appeared to have a Scottish accent and he informed us that he originally hailed from Edinburgh. I was also to learn later that he had attended Cambridge at the same time as me, reading psychology and graduating in 2002. We probably had classes together as there were some elements of psychology during the course of my studies but I don’t recall having seen him. What was even stranger was that we’re both into athletics as well but he was more into distance running. He did complement me, however, for my running style, which made me feel a little guilty for jumping to conclusions earlier.

Alex was able to inform as to us were the Northward gate was and asked if he could travel with us. We agreed and he was certainly a very nice travelling companion.

As we left the city we noticed a river. We assumed this to be the River Skai that the note had told us to follow. We had to have travelled for quite a while before we came up the first cottage not made of black basalt but we did note that the dark pall of the sky lightened up. As we approached, we noticed an old woman with a clay pipe sat on the porch and a cat sleeping nearby. Assuming this to be the house mentioned in Jimmie’s letter, we introduced ourselves and asked the old woman the way to Ulthar. She pointed the way we were travelling and we thanked her.

We set off at a good pace but after a while we became hungry and thirsty. Initially we thought about taking a drink from the river but resisted the urge.

Shortly afterwards we came upon a farmhouse and decided to see whether we could obtain a drink there. We knocked and the door was opened by a young man who not only offered us a drink but also offered us food. At long last, something pleasurable: a nice meal with friendly company! Belinda refused to partake. (Worryingly I can’t help thinking about the Ancient Greek myth about Penelope and the Pomegranate.)

The young man told us that it should not take us long now to get to Ulthar. He also said that we would be safe from the Moon Beasts there, as they are afraid of the cats. I noticed that Alex seemed to be very interested in this snippet of information so maybe he knows more about these Moon Beasts than he has previously revealed to us. Obviously he has met them before, due to what he told me back in Dylath-Leen.

Thanking the young man, we continue on with our travels and, behold, a few hours later we come upon another city, which we can only assume is Ulthar, the City of Cats.

And could there be a more fitting name then? I think not, for there are cats everywhere. Note: unlike Dylath-Leen, Ulthar is bright and colourful. The people appear friendly and are dressed in diaphanous silks and other lavish garments of every hue.

We ask a young lady the way to the Temple of the Elder Gods and she indicates a circular tower upon the highest point of the city. We thank her and continue.

As we approach the Temple we are spotted by an acolyte who appeared to have been expecting us, asking if we were the friends of Jimmy, which we confirmed. We were then escorted within to a grand chamber where an old man reclined on cushions. (Even indoors, the cats are everywhere; glad none of us are allergic.) The old man we discover later is Atal and is the father of this temple. Atal informs us that Jimmy is in fact there and that he is waiting for us. He asks us to sit while the acolyte is sent to fetch Jimmy.

Jimmy comes into the room a few moments later, but he looks nothing like the withered skeleton of a man we saw at his flat. Jimmy appears tanned, healthy, and he is dressed in robes made of silk and cloth of gold.

Jimmy then informs us that he wished to meet with us so that he can tell us of his intensions. As before he makes it quite clear that he does not wish to go the way of Toby Higginbotham and that instead intends to remain within this dream world, stating that he has taken steps to ensure this will happen. It is as I thought, he is delusional and suicidal. (Why didn’t that damned quack of a doctor listen to me?) I just knew it was more than he was saying it was.

Jimmy states that he wishes to remain here to find knowledge and rest. He then hands us a map he claims to show this world in which he intends to reside and states that if we wish to find him again that we can find him in the city of Celephias.

We are then invited to a feast. After a few hours, I begin to feel sleepy again, yet I am awoken by a gentle shaking of my shoulder together with someone speaking my name.

As my eyes focus, I note that it is Barbara. This is quite a surprise as I assumed that she had left before waking us, as she had stated she had arranged to wake us after a half-hour, yet by my reckoning we had been gone over twelve hours! Surely she could not have hung around so long just watching us sleep and knitting? Yet when I looked at the clock and also at Barbara’s knitting I reassess; it would appear that time travels differently between the real world and the dream world as, while we had seemed to be away for most of a day, in reality it has only been a mere half hour. (Oddly enough I cannot bring myself to call it the Dreamlands, as that is what Jimmy called it).

As to what happened to the mysterious Alex, I have no clue. Hopefully, he found his way home too as I found him to be quite pleasant and friendly. Oddly enough, I am aware that this Alex is a police detective constable and that he has a four year old daughter, yet strangely I do not know his last name.

Urgently I phoned MI13, indicating that I felt that Jimmy was in an extremely fragile state and that he had every intension of killing or seriously harming himself. They say that they will look into it. (My god! You have to insist before they do anything!)

Barbara then says she has to go home to her family but the others stay the night. I dig out the spare sheets and set up Belinda in Suzanne’s old room while Adam and St John take the recliners. (They are surprisingly comfortable and I must admit to having slept in them myself after a tough shift.)

December 17^th:

In the morning, however, I am to receive some bad news as it is revealed that Jimmy died during the night, most likely due to an overdose of prescribed drugs.

As per usual Christmas is a washout as on Christmas Eve I was due to start a forty-eight hour shift on call as I had once again drawn the short straw. Well that’s what I get for wanting New Year off. But at least the double time should help me to pay for the deposit on my new car.

New Year is a different story as the family all gather at father’s to celebrate not only the New Year but also the good news about father’s knighthood, and a great time is had. Many of my cousins and our family friends are there with one notable exception; I do note that my sister and her husband were not invited again - that’s three years now, according to my mother, and they haven’t spoken once since the incident and father even refuses to discuss it. I travelled up late on the Wednesday night and stayed for the weekend, returning on Monday morning.

Belinda and I are invited to the funeral, which was to take place on 5^th January, as the method of his death requires a full autopsy to take place. We are also told to ask anyone we wish so we invite St John and Adam. I also ask Lionel but find that he is already attending. We are later to find that our presence at the funeral is actually itemized in Jimmy’s will.

5^th January 2007:

When we arrive it becomes fairly clear that there are two groups forming near the church. The larger group looks rather conservative and older; these we find to be his relatives and older friends. I meet his parents and express my condolences while suppressing my slight disquiet as to why I had expressly been invited, as until a few days ago I had never met him in the flesh. I note that, as expected, Mavis is not here and learn from Lionel that she had not been invited as it appears Jimmy had no time for her.

The other group at the funeral are strange in that they appear to be extremely cheerful and chatty; very odd in this setting, it would seem. And I note that the two groups attempt to stay as far apart as possible.

The vicar who gives the eulogy is extremely complementary of Jimmy, stating how well he was liked by all that met him and how he liked sports. He then went on to say how Jimmy excelled in his education, going on to take a degree in the anthropology of Native Americans.

However, after this there are remarks about how he threw his future away by descent into drug taking and it was this that led to his tragic early death. When the vicar finishes someone applauds at the back; as to whom I do not know but I feel this shows an extreme lack of respect.

Strangely enough, one of the normal sombre tunes is replaced by what could only be described as a rock song. As to who the performer is I have no clue but was later to ascertain that it was a group named Supertramp. I did not press further and can only assume that they were his favourite group.

We were invited by family and their group to attend the wake but noted hat the same offer was not extended to the second group. St John and Adam go over to have words with the second group and I note that several of the first group do not appear to approve. We felt that if someone was to talk to them then it should be Adam or St John as they seem to be more attuned to the way that we feel this second group would react and they report that at least one of the group appears be in early stages of what occurred to Jimmy they were unfortunately unable to acquire much information regarding this.