The Diary of Raoul Grincheux

Part 10

In which our heroes arrive in Sophia and learn of Lady Samal’s inheritance.

Wildday, Disorderweek, Fireseason, early-afternoon & aprés-fight

So wiv the Trolls all dead, well, mostly dead, it’s all ‘ands to the loot. Ain’t nobody any real good at valooin’ so we all azza guess.

Stella an’ Spathi reckon the trade goods is worth ‘bout a fowzand shillins but we’d need a loada carts to carry it all. But they finks if we took the wine, olive oil an’ such we could shift about a hundred shillins no problem.

Lady Samal reckons nuffin is magical ‘cept for her amulet, which is kinda weird ‘cos she reckons it wernt magic before.

The fancy dagger looks real flash an’ Spathi says its worth five fowzand shillins but Stella says the gems ain’t diamonds an’ it’s only worth a few hundred – I ain’t gotta clue but I fink I prefer me own daggers as more practical, like. It’s got one of ‘em crest fings wot toffs put on their stuff in case it gets nicked. None ovva toffs know wot family it comes from but whoever they iz they’z might pay extra to gettit back, like.

Stella reckons the beetle in amber could be worth 150 shillins to any human but mebbe twice that to a Troll – dunno if it’s worth findin’ a Troll to sell it to for an extra 150 shillins.

The five glass beads could go for 10 shillins but if you picks the right mark they could go for 50 if the mark din’t see they’z only glass.

The silk tunic is worth 80 shillins but its cut to fit the Dark Troll so it’d be a bit of a tent on the likes of Lady Samal, know what I mean?

Then there’s the ivory game pieces wiv a very nice board wot’s finished in marble an’ all – Stella’s flummoxed by that one (like ivory’s real rare – I ain’t never seen it before – looks cool) but Eliza reckons it’s just cut up teef and iz all but worthless. I’d like to learn to play the game, looks like fun, an’ Sieur Alphonse says mebbe they wood make a nice curio – I fink he means we keeps it az a soovneer, like.

Sieur Alphonse also finds a bag of gold an’ silver coins underneef a load of stuff in the chest – three wheels an’ 125 shillins – looks like the Trolls din’t care much for the Sun Kin’s coins, just like Sieur Alphonse and Sieur Thomas won’t touch the Troll coins.

Speakin’ of, Sieur Alphonse says it’s OK for me to take ‘em seein’ az they won’t. I dunno iffen I can flog ‘em for a profit but they don’t weigh as much as the great troll’s ‘ead – I got 12 of the big coins someone says iz bologs anna 90 groats.

An we grabs the books – seven cook books fulla troll recipes an’ sumfink that might be a diary, mebbe?

Then there’s the two little girls. Freya is Pierre’s dorter, sheza ‘bout six, but the Troll kid is much younger mebbe less than a year? But she’s real wivvit, know what I mean? I means she’s real quiet – dunt say a word – but she sees evryfing. Freya woz dead scared when the Trolls carried her off – I means I could smell her fear inna camp. But it looks like she woz treated well an’ she’z taken a real shine to the Troll kid, who she calls Gertrude – dunno her real name.

One fing wot gets me iz little Gertrude ain’t worritin’ over all the dead Trolls – an’ I reckons the Dark an’ Great Trolls woz her mum an’ dad. Anyhow, we sticks bofe kids on the ‘orse wot din’t get et.

Before we sets off Sieur Alphonse gives a real short speech – he woz real impressed how we fort real ‘ard gainst the Trolls, seein’ az we woz outnumbered an’ all – congratoolayshuns izza wot he says, which I reckon is right cool ovvim. He’z alrite for a toff.

So on the way back me an’ Lady Samal’s wranglin’ the kids. I likes Gertrude but she’z unnervin’, like – I reckon she’s dead smart – I means she’s only ‘bout a year old, right? An’ Lady Samal gets to talkin’ ‘bout her amulet, that it lets her see people’s spirits an’ little Gertrude is dead bright – in fact I reckon Gertrude’s well ahead of herself when it comes to smarts an’ power!

We gets to the river an’ we unload the ‘orse to cross over the stones. I carries Gertrude on me shoulders an’ I fair skips over – an I sees Sieur Thomas do the same wiv Freya. Course Lady Samal cast Co-ordination on bofe ovvuz but still there wunt the slightest wobble. Mebbe it’s just easier second time round… Mebbe?

It’s gettin’ dark when we’z gets back to the caravan. Pierre hugs Freya like he fort he’d never see her again – which iz probly just wot he’z bin finkin’ all day, like. Then he gets a bit mazed when little Freya tellzim Gertrude izza her new best friend, like he’z bin kicked inna gut. But he just dotes on little Freya an’ letzem play togevver anyways – dotin’ farver, like.

Pierre’s dead grateful for us gettin’ Freya back an’ azza reward he says we can each take one bitta porserlin from the one box wot’s not smashed. I dunno ‘bout that – how am I gonna gettit to Sophia in one piece, like? Lady Samal must fink the same ‘cos she says let’s wait till we’z all inna Sophia before we opens the box.

Godsday, Disorderweek to Wildday, Harmonyweek, Fireseason 612

After all wot’s ‘appened since we left Heliopolis, we’z all right ‘appy that nuffink excitin’ ‘appens for the next week but we’z all gets to know each uvver better.

Turns out one of the merchants, Gerhard, trades wiv Trolls regular, like. He says there’s an’ Argan-Argar market in Sophia ev’ry Freezeday. When the toffs ‘ears this they askim to take a look at the loot we got from the Troll cave…

First he checks out the books – they’z mostly cookbooks right enuff an’ he reckons they ain’t for no beginner. He offers 500 shillins for the lot an’ Sieur Alphonse near bites hiz hand off – like none of uziz gonna learn Trollish just to get good inna kitchen, know what I mean?

But then he reads the diary wot woz writ by Gertrude’s mum, the Dark Troll (anna Great Troll wozza dad, like I fort). Dark Troll’s name woz Karina Mouskara. Turns out she fell out wiv her mum, a Mistress wot she don’t name, an’ Karina woz real bitter bout that. The diary don’t say wot the bustup woz about but Gerhard reckons it mighta bin her test for priestess ‘cos Karina woz real close an’ she talks ‘bout that a lot.

Anyhow, Karina gets sent packin’ out ‘ere an’ told to buy her way back inna favour wiv az much loot az she can nick off all the merchants onna road. So she buys uppa load of Trollkin slaves (so they wun’t all her kids, then?) an’ slopes out ‘ere wiv her conkybine, Zog, the Great Troll.

She wurnt doin’ badly but then this year she gave birf to a dorter wot’s a Mistress – that woz Gertrude but it’s real weird that Karina ain’t writ her name inna diary. Gerhard reckons it might be ‘cos she woz still in exile – praps she woz gonna name Gertrude after her mum (I means Karina’s mum) iffen she could get back onna right side.

The last fing inna diary iz ‘bout Freya – Karina says they’z just got her an’ she reckons she’d be a good mate for her dorter, reckons Freya could bring Gertrude along, like.

Then Gerhard looks over the uvver stuff an’ offers 200 shillins for the amber jewlry an 80 shillins for the silk tunic, which is ‘bout wot we woz expectin’.

Finally Gerhard takes the bologs an’ groats off me for 90 shillins. They’z worth moran 200 shillins to a Troll but I reckons I’m ahead of the game.

We stops Wildnight inna village just outside Sophia. Iz only a few miles but iz gettin’ dark an’ we don’t wanna find the gates shut gainst us, do we?

Godsday, Harmonyweek, Fireseason, mid-morning 612

So we rolls inna Sophia inna mornin’. It’s real bustlin’, in much better shape than Godsport an’ the walls look like they could mebbe hold for a bit.

First fing I gets izza lot of people yammerin’ in dif’rent lingos – they’z talkin’ Heliopolitan but there’s just az many talkin’ Stormspeech anna few wot’s talkin’ Lunatic – I’ve ‘eard Lunatic a few times in Heliopolis but there’s quite a few ‘ere, an’ they ain’t all gypsies, nyver.

We goes to the Humakt temple an’ Spathi an’ Blen go in wiv the Troll ‘eads an Lafitte’s letter wot ordered ‘em to kill Trolls. They comes out ‘alf an hour later wiv 225 shillins but they still got the ‘eads. Turns out the Humakti’s don’t wannem. To be honest we dunt wannem eyver – they’z smellin’ pretty rank now, know what I mean?

So the Humaktis anna toffs bitch about wot to do wiv the ‘eads. The Heliots reckon they could be cremated, but I ain’t certain iffen a Mithrate crummytoreeum iz gonna take a loada rottin’ troll ‘eads. Some says lose ‘em inna river but that won’t be nice for the villages wot’s downstream. Blen’s all for dumpin’ ‘em inna sewer, but we Rats ‘ave to work inna sewers an’ I ain’t havin’ that – an’ the sewers all pour inna river anyways.

They’z all ain’t finkin’ ‘cos the anwers obvio, like. So I tells ‘em I’ll grab a spade off the wagon and bury ‘em outside the city later that afternoon. I don’t even ask any money.

So next, Lady Samal needs to find the city majistrait. We asks around an’ we winds up atta town hall to see a geezer called Tarlon Sturge. We’z all wiv Lady Samal to support her morals. She’z kept waitin’ twenny minutes when a flunky says Mr Sturge will see her inna minute an’ would she like sum tea? So we all drinks tea.

It’s anuvver ‘alf hour later when the flunky takes uz uppa real posh staircase an’ inna room wiv lotsa chairs, enuff for all ovvuz. Flunky announces Lady Samal an’ ontooraj (so I am an ontooraj after all) to a short, bald, tubby gent wiv real sharp eyes under real big eyebrows – thissiz Mr Sturge. He an’ Lady Samal says wotcha only in Stormspeech but then they switches to Helionic so we’z can all ‘ear.

He looks up her family inna big book an’ sez she az to prove she’s Lady Samal. She gives him a signet ring wivva famly crest but he arsks her ‘bout her linnee-age – old Tarlon seems a bit put out when she gets it all right but he admits ev’ryfings in order.

So Tarlon sez Lady Samal’s to get ev’ryfing but he reckons the biggest fing izza manor ‘ouse called Vicente Lodge – izza ‘bout a day’s ride sowf-east of Sophia. He reckons itz got great views ovva downs (az he bin there, then?) An’ wiv the ‘ouse comes a whole village called Puttuck. The knobs all reckon this iz all good stuff, especially Sieur Alphonse, ‘cos he reckons he’z gottiz feet under the table where Lady Samal’s concerned.

Old Tarlon sez the ‘ouse woz a watchtower wot got dun up azza dezrez an’ bort by Lady Samal’s uncle Tar az part of his search for his sister – Tarlon can’t remember her name – funny how ev’rywun forgets her name.

Lady Samal asks wot dooties come wivva manor? Tarlon reckons it’s mostly taxes but he seems to fink that she should getta pretty penny even wiv the taxes. He ‘ands over all the deeds an’ stuff and sez the Hotel Moskva is pretty good when Lady Samal asks for an inn. Tarlon sez the inn got its name when the Trolls invaded inna Long Winter (before me time) but the Trolls iz long gone an’ it’s real nice he reckons.

We finds Hotel Moskva easy wivva bit of askin’ an’ akterly it’s a bit of alright – big stone fing. Stella does the hagglin’ an gets us rooms for 22 shillins a night – they dunt seem to mind Gertrude (no pub in Heliopolis wood ‘ave her).

While ev’rywun else is settlin’ in I borrows the wagon for a couple of hours an’ digs a hole for them troll ‘eads outside town – it’s the only fing that makes sense an’ I sez a quick prayer for they’z soles – ‘cos we’z a spirit cult, right, an’ I reckon it’s only right, know what I mean?

Back at the inn, the nosh is alright an’ after dinner we gets to do a bitta buskin’. Eliza compnies Lady Samal az she gives a poem bout the big fight wiv Trolls an’ I gets to play me penny whistle an’ even sing that song I ‘eard in Godsport, you know, ‘Trolls to the left of me, Dragons to the right, ‘ere I am, stuck inna middle wiv you’. It goes down real well. I really fancies bein’ a troobadoor but I reckon I gotta work on me singin’ a bit.

A bit later I sees an old woman come inna pub an’ ‘ears her say ‘Lady Samal’ an’ ‘professee’. She looks like a gyppo but wivva dark blue cloak covered in stars an’ stuff – bit like one of ‘em starry nuns we stopped wiv on Mt Ofrys. But she gets nobbled by the landlord who reckons she’s lowerin’ the tone a bit.

I looks round, expectin’ one of the toffs to stick an oar in but they dun’t look like they’z gonna say nuffink. Lady Samal’s lookin’ real worried, kinda shrinkin’ back like she’s scared ovvan old biddy.

So I catches Lady Samal’s eye an nods at the biddy, I sez the biddy knows ‘bout the professee an’ itz gonna be safe wiv all ovvuz unless she’z got real powerful roonmagic. Lady Samal’s lookin’ stressed but she nods back like she wants me to see wots up. Sieur Thomas comes wiv me but I dunno why ‘cos he dunt talk to no one wivvout a picture onna shield.

I asks wot’s wot an’ the landlord gets to rantin’ azzee bundles the biddy outa door. She’z bitchin’ atim inna Lunatic, I reckon only words I get is ‘Lady Samal’ an’ ‘sellersteen’. I sez he needs to talk to the toff bout it an’ he mowves off at Sieur Thomas while I goes after the biddy, wot’s outside now.

So the biddy comes out wivva a load of Lunatic – I know a few words, like, but I can’t follow her at all ‘cos she’s babblin’ real fast but I asks if she parlez-vous Heliopolitan, like, an’ then I can just about work out wot she’s sayin’.

She says she knew Lady Samal’s Uncle Tar and needs to talk to her ‘bout the professee. I goes back an’ tells Lady Samal ‘bout this an’ she gets the landlord to givvus a private room wot we can ‘ear the biddy in. We all squeezes in but Lady Samal’s still tryin’ to ‘ide an I reckon she finks the biddy wonts to kill her – dun ask me how!

So the old biddy is Aimeé Notan, or mebbe Amy, seein’ az she’za gypsy. Uncle Tar hired her ‘cos he wanted a minister for his manor. Tar got real down just before he died but he shared some ovvis insights wiv her an’ asked her to pass on wot he’d learned to his niece, meanin’ Lady Samal.

Amy sez she knows 4 outa 9 insights an’ she reckons we already know 3. The ones she knows iz…

1) The sin-crow-nee-city fing;

2) Religion an’ science makin’ a spiritual void

3) The big intelligent fing wot connects ev’ryfing

4) Ev’rywun’s beatin’ up on ev’rywun else for #3, makin’ for a scrap

Amy sez Lady Samal’s onna long jurnee downa dark an’ twisted parf but ‘great deeds await’.

An’ that’s it – Lady Samal crosses her palm wiv silver (she dunt seem scared no more) an’ the biddy legs it.

Well I dunno ‘bout all this myztic stuff but onna more practickle note Sieur Alphonse hands out dosh, shares inna loot, for all ovvuz an’ I gets 150 shillins! Cor! Fanks monsieur – you’z a toff – but I ‘spect he knows that, like.

I’m off to bed. Tomorrow I’z gotta find a local mischief ‘cos me grannie sed I gotta an’ I fink I’ll spend some cash onna crossbow, but one a bit handier than the big fing Sarjint Savage had.