The Diary of Raoul Grincheux

Part 32

A fearful fight against undead in the Tower of Ludar…

Godsday, Deathweek, Darkseason, 612, early afternoon

I dunno ‘ow long I’z out but I wakes up lyin’ onna table; I tries to struggl but I can’t moov ‘cos I’z tied down an’ all I can ‘ear is them priznors moanin’ an’ cacklin’ – then I feels sumfink prick me tum an’ I looks down an’ sees wun ovvem wicked little knives wot physikz use an’ there’z Mr Sick holdin’ it an’ grinnin’ at me az he cuts!

I screams an’ screams an’ then I wakes up - worst nightmare ever, defnitly, know what I mean? But then there’z no fightin’ at all an’ I can ‘ear iz them priznors moanin’ an’ cacklin’ an’ I’z lyin’ on sumfink ‘ard so for a second I finks me nightmare’s cum troo! Aaargh!

But then I opens me eyes an’ find I’z on the little landin’ just up the stairs from where the Shade got me an’ evrywun else is movin’ bout the crypt. Looks like we wun after all…

Turns out George the porc saved us wiv hiz crossbow – twice! Once when he shot the Shade (an Blen inna leg – but he’z alrite now) an’ again when he shot Mr Sick. Wot wiv his wreckin’ the golem a few weeks ago I reckon he’z probly due a bonus. Sieur Alphonse also got hurt inna leg an’ iz still limpin’ a bit.

Wunce they sees me movin’ the toffs says I gotta look over the priznors – these ain’t our priznors, these woz Mr Sick’s. First I takes a look at the poor mites on 4 tables, wun ovvem woz still movin’ when the fite started but they’z all ded now – an’ they’z all died ov bein’ cut up live – reel nasty stuff.

Then there’z five priznors wot’s bin unchained inna corner – they’s all barkin’ a bit like Boldomor or Stella’s beau, Cornelius. Sum iz hummin’ or singin’ that song, Red, red wine – reckon they’z bin driven mad by the statyoo, mebbe? They dunt flinch even when you passes a candle in frunt ov they’z eyes – well gone!

But there’z anuvver three wot’s gon mad ‘cos ov wot they’z seen inna crypt – they’z seen they’z mates die ov bein’ cut up onna slab an’ fort that woz gonna ‘appen to them. I tries to treat ‘em but I reckon wot they needs iz peace an’ kweyit an’ they won’t find that in ‘ere. Nun ovva priznors ‘az bin bit or lost eny blud – except them wot bled to deff onna slabs, ov corss.

While I’z lookin’ ‘em ova, the toffs iz talkin’ bout wot to do. Sieur Thomas dun’t reckon we can take on a vampire if it near killd us to take on Mr Sick wot they’z reckon woz just a nishiate. Sieur Alphonse reckons we get the priznors back to the villaj an’ cum back when we’z all top-shape again, but Eliza’s reel worrit that she’ll be a lych by then, an’ probly insane wivvit – an’ I sees wot she meens.

But then sumwun sez the front door’s locked wiv majik an’ the only way out’s down that rope from the roof, wot the priznors can’t ‘andle. But Lady Samal sez wun fing we can do iz take that coffin to the roof an’ open it while the Sun’s still up. But Blen duz a Det Unded an’ he reckons it’z empty – an when it’z opened all there iz izza natty red silk linin’ anna ‘andful ov urff.

I sez mebbe we can burn or brake down the frunt door, even if it’z locked wiv majik. So we barricade the bronz doors (wot ‘av pikturs of fishes – sorta like that bowl from the Orcshun) an’ goes back upstairs. Sumwun reckons burnin’ the frunt doors wood smoke us all out an’ we ain’t got no axes. But Lady Samal reckons we cood do the ‘injes so me an’ George ‘ammer ‘em wiv maces taken from the zombies’. It takes an hour an’ we wrecks two maces but sudden-like the doors – bronze-bound wood, ded tuff – falls out an’ we an’ the priznors iz free.

First fing we do iz get that coffin up an’ open inna Sun an’ we frows the urff inna bushes. Then we brings the priznors up inna Sun, wot will be settin’ in a coupla hours. I dunt know ‘ow to treat ‘em so we just tries to kweyit ‘em wiv music – I duz me best but I reckon I’z still not rite from when that Shade got me an’ I can’t ‘old a note, singin’ or playin’ me penny whistle – lucky Eliza iz spot on an’ she gets ‘em nice an calm.

Sieur Thomas reckons we needs to get ‘em back to the villaj. Lady Samal an’ Eliza (espeshully Eliza ‘cos she’z ded worrit bout turning unded) ain’t keen but we ain’t got much choice, I reckon. So we sets out – wiv the priznors it takes twice az long, ov corss, an’ it’z midnite when we gets back to the Red Star.

We ‘az to bang on the doors to get the innkeeper up an’ he’z a bit put out to see we got 8 crazies wiv us. But it turns out three ovvem’s villajers captured from they’z beds. Soon word gets round an’ most ov the villaj iz up.

Turns out there’z still a bunch ov peepl missin’ an’ when we gets descripshuns it looks like they’z woz the poor blighters onna slabs inna crypt. But Lady Samal’s ded good, brakin’ the news gentle-like an’ sayin’ we’ll bring back the bodies next trip.

The innkeeper asks bout the toff in the tower an’ when the toffs ask for a descripshun it turns out he woz probly Mr Sick, wot the innkeeper sez woz Serjedny! Turns out the innkeeper can read Darkik writin’ so Lady Samal shows ‘im the letter wot we found in the bedroom. The innkeeper sez it’z in Transylvanian. (I fort it woz odd the villaj all spoke Lunatic when most about speak Stormspeech, but how cum an’ innkeeper speaks vampire?)

Turns out the letter iz from Lord Varvara tellin’ Serjedny he’z not ‘appy he dint get the bowl an’ the statyoo an’ tellin’ Serjedny to pull out – but obvio Serjedny went bonkers before he cood do that.

The villajers iz all reel ‘appy we brort back the priznors an’ they sez we can stay ‘az long ‘az we like for free. Corss I ain’t sure we want to stay ‘ere all that long an’ we gotta go back to the tower to finish fings off. Turns out Mr Sick ‘ad a power krystl wot the toffs fink shood go to Sieur Thomas.

Rite, we’z all knackered an’ it’z well after midnite before we gets our heds down but we all sleeps like logs.

Freezeday, Fertilityweek, Darkseason, 612, Dawn

Akterly not evrywun slept well, I fink Eliza adda reel bad nite – well she’z gotta lot on her mind an’ I’d not be sleepin’ if I woz turnin’ unded – an’ evrywun knows unded dunt sleep at all.

So we brekfust on turnip stew – a year ago I’d be ded grateful for sumfink fillin’ like this but I reckon bein’ in Lady Samal’s ontooraj iz makin’ me soft ‘cos I’z finkin’ it ain’t a patch on the sort of grub I’z got used to.

So we’z all goin’ back to the Tower of Ludar – I menshuns that today’z Freezeday wot day I fort the toffs dint want to get near a vampire but they reckons that letter from Lord Varvara means the vampires ain’t round no more – well the toffs iz the wuns wiv eddycayshun so I’z shore they’z rite.

So we’z back at Ludar before lunch. Sieur Thomas reckons he finds footprints that wunt there when we left yesterday an’ it looks like sumwun just flew in, “Or mannifestid from smoke” sez Sieur Thomas. So mebbe there’z a vampire ‘ere after all? Merde!

Lady Samal an’ Eliza iz ded excited to be goin’ back in – wot seemz ded odd to me ‘cos I can’t say I am. The crypt iz just az bad az yesterday an’ now all that ded meat’s beginning to smell, know what I mean? We’z promised the villajers we’z gonna bring back the ded so I reckon muggins iz gonna be pickin’ up all the bitz sum time an’ I’d rarver it woz sooner before they getz too slimy. Good job it’z Darkseason iz all I can say.

But Lady Samal an’ Eliza iz hoppin’ bout az we pulls away the barricades (metal tables wiv ded peepl) an’ open the big bronz doors (mite be worf a pretty penny). Lady Samal’s got a lantern wot shows a passij wiv ruff rock walls. It looks ded old an’ the toffs reckon it’z older than the crypt – probly natrul before it woz widend to bout three yards.

Lady Samal an’ Eliza iz ded keen but it’z Sieur Thomas an’ Blen at the front an’ I’z behind them. The passij slopes down then duz a big turn an’ dubbls back under the crypt, I reckon (an’ we rats iz good at findin’ ourselfs underground inna dark).

After a bit we see’s flickrin’ lite ahead an’ we rounds a turn to see a big natrul cave bout twenny feet cross. It sorta slopes down to a pool at the far side. The water’s all bubblin’ like it’z onna boil but it dunt feel hot – weerd!

Wot’z even weerder iz that the cave iz all lit by candles! I means, wot? Who lit ‘em? An’ who’s kept ‘em lit from yesterday? They shood ‘av burned down by now – an’ there’z ‘undreds!

An’ then there’z the altar – well it looks like an altar to me – it’z bout a yard into the pool an’ between two candles iz the bowl from the Orcshun.

So Lady Samal must be feelin’ the strain ‘cos she opens a bottle of wine an’ poors ‘erself a glass – Lumme, an’ I’d do the same if I woz her, just wish she’d offer it round, know what I mean? But she she just stands there, drinkin’ an’ finkin’. After a minute she sez there ain’t no spirits an’ no enemies an’ no majik – save wot we’z brort wivvus, an’ the bowl, ov corss.

So wunce George ‘az loaded an’ cocked hiz crossbow, Lady Samal puts away the cup, takes the statyoo in wun ‘and an’ goes to the altar. She sez the water ain’t boilin’, just froffy.

She checks out the altar an’ sez it’z got roons of Water, Harmony (wun of King Rat’s that iz), Disorder an Man, an’ it’z got ‘The Sorss ovva Perlov’ writ in Old Maniac. Then she puts the statyoo inna bowl, shoutin’ like she’z reel ‘appy!

An’ it all goes bad! The statyoo moovs like it’z in agony, then it turns it’z ‘ead to Lady Samal an’ screams!!!

I ain’t never ‘eard nuffink like it – it’z much worse than the Shade, wot woz bad enuff. It sounds like a soul wot’z bin tortured for a fowzand years. I falls down an’ I can feel blud cummin’ from me ears! I feels all me dreams from when the Shade got me cum back an’ I’z screamin’ meself.

An’ then it all goes dark!