The Diary of Raoul Grincheux

Part 41

In which our heroes battle with ghoul-dogs, zombie cavalry, the Abbot of Hrum to close a demon gate.

Godsday, Deathweek, Seaseason, 613 – 2 hours after dark

So here I am, standin’ ova Stella’s body, tryin’ to drag her back in the lite from the chariot wiv three ghool-dogs after us. Lucky for us two were-ravens cum down an take on two ov ‘em but all I got iz me dagger gainst the third.

It cood go for Stella’s legs but lucky for her it cums for me, I stabs it in a leg an’ its teef bite me dagger – I guess it’s limpin’ but it’z still moovin’ quicker than I can drag Stella. But I shifts us a few yards an’ we reaches Eliza az she takes the hed off the rider wot broke Stella’s arm – wicked!

I looks round to see how far we got to go. Sieur Thomas iz out the chariot an’ battlin’ the Abbot in the semmetry off to the rite, wot I reckon iz ded ‘eroik ovvim ‘cos the last time they fort the Abbot did him in. Sieur Alphonse iz swingin’ the chariot round to point our way – akterly I fort Sieur Thomas woz the best driver but Sieur Alphonse whips it round ded neat – nice wun! But then I sees past him to the gate az anuvver big claw cums frew – merde!

Lookin’ back at the ghool-dogs, ourz iz still cummin attus an’ anuvver iz cummin’ in fast. (Probly finks we’z an eezyer catch than a bird in the air, know wot I mean?) I stabs mine in the uvver leg but not az good but then when it tries to bite I jabs the point ov me dagger down its froat an’ it falls down. Phew!

I looks up to see the next ghool-dog almost on us but sudden we’z all in the lite again. King Rat bless Sieur Alphonse – he’z only gon an’ brort the chariot back wiv the Sunbrite! Lumme! We’z saved! I looks back an sees him frow a flamin’ javlin at the Abbot wot burnz hiz hed rite off! Wicked! There’z a shreek an’ a whispy black fing flies away, hedin’ for the abbey, I fink. Sieur Thomas hacks the Abbot az he goes down but I reckon it’z Sieur Alphonse wot’s the reel hero!

Then cums a loud crack from the gate. There’z a normous dog-face tween the claws, all cuvverd in slime an’ drippin’ nasty sizzlin’ stuff wot looks like it burns. The shaman iz kinda dancin’ in the air in front ov it an’ I fink the gate mite be closin’, but Dogface iz pullin’ himself frew. Argh, putain!

But back to the ghool-dogs – I’z all set to take the new wun when Eliza steps ova an’ puts it down wiv her spear – I’z an’ appy rat! (Well, modratly ‘appy.) Lookin’ up, the two were-ravens iz polishin’ off the third ghool-dog so sudden we ain’t got nuffink to fite, wot iz fine by me. There’z still the rider’s zombie ‘orse but I frows Stella ova me sholder an’ look round just in time to get out the way ov the chariot. On the uvver side Eliza scrambles up a bank, nockin’ an’ arrer.

Sieur Alphonse yells “Cummin back!” az the chariot goes past ded fast – turns out he’z aimin’ at the zombie ‘orse – it tries to get away but he takes a leg off. Bout thirty yards up it’z a bit more open an’ he duz anuvver reel smart turn.

I takes a look round. Back near the gate I sees Sieur Thomas joinin’ the shaman. I see him hack Dogface wiv hiz sword but I sees a big hole get et out ov his sheeld by that drool – nasty stuff! Dogface ‘az a collar wiv hevvy chains goin’ back frew the gate. On them chains iz four ‘orrid man-fings, lookin’ unded an’ slimy but wiv greatswords! It looks like Dogface iz tryin’ to drag ‘em frew the gate, but it’z closin’ on hiz middl.

I see Eliza shoot her bow an’ I fink she hits Dogface but I can’t be shaw. Them four unded swordsmen squeeze frew the gate. Sieur Thomas an’ the shaman back off from ‘em ‘cos they looks mean but Sieur Thomas ignites wun in the goolies.

But just then there’s a big smash ‘cos Sieur Alphonse haz cort the zombie ‘orse on the way back, takin’ anuvver leg off – an’ that’s two it’z lost on the same side. Next second he pulls up in front ov us wiv the brakes screamin’. I jumps in wiv Stella an’ starts checkin’ her ova. I woz worrit Stella mite ‘av got a bit of ghool-dog drool on her but she’z just broke her arm so I straps it up an’ puts it inna sling – nice job, if I sez so meself.

Then the chariot starts rattlin’ az Sieur Alphonse drives at Dogface so I puts me hed up in case I’z needed. But Dogface iz howlin’ sumfink ‘orrid, like he’z in reel pain but wot’s appnin iz he’z bein’ sucked back frew the gate, draggin’ his unded on they’z chainz. Wicked!

Then Sieur Alphonse iz pullin’ up ‘cos the gate’s gon an’ we nearly hitz Lord Henri an’ Lady Samal an’ the uvvers az they cums from from the lodj.

All that’s left of the Abbot izza bit of rag, his sheeld an wot looks like a broke stick, wot must be the funny staff he had – but it dun’t look like much now.

Sieur Alphonse iz ded grayshus – fanks us all, reely warms me hart, he duz – almost makes it wurf nearly bein’ dog food. But he dun’t reckon the Abbot iz a gonna yet, he finks we’z gotta trash him in the Abbey. He dun’t fink we can do that now but he reckons if we rests up in the morzleeum we can go in at dawn.

Sieur Thomas sez he wonts to know wot the shaman sez. I fort she sed she din’t wanna go near the Abbey – turn out she still ain’t keen but she reckons we’z softened him up an’ if we’z goin’ in in daylite she’ll cum wiv us.

Back in the morzleeum we parks the chariot where we found it an’ the uvver two chariots an’ the cart. Then the toffs tell the Gardin’ Spirit wot ‘appened in the fite – bout trashin’ the Abbot an’ drivin’ Dogface back frew the gate, wot’s closed. They sez we’z gonna rest up an’ take on the Abbey at dawn!

The Spirit seems ded impressd – an’ I reckon he shood be – so he pulls out a bunch ov kees an’ sez we can ‘av more ov the Trezhurs ov Hrum az long az we uses ‘em to fite the Abbot an’ we brings ‘em all back when we’z dun.

Turns out the uvver trezhurs izza broadsword, like wot Sieur Alphonse uses wot the Spirit sez izza matrix ov Firebrand III (I fink that’s wun ovvem fiery Helios spells the roonpriests use on they’z swords); then there’z a javlin wot cums back when you fro it (for a point ov power); wun ov them big Helios sheelds wot’s a matrix ov Fireguard; an’ last izza posh cloke wot is permnent Protection IV.

Well the only wun ov them wot mite be eny use to me iz the cloke but I reckon it’s best goin’ to sumwun wot’s gonna be more use in a fite, know wot I mean?

But the best news iz we gets Stella all Healed up an on her feet by dawn. After a good nite’s kip I reckon we can take on that Abbot, but eny chance ov brekfust first?