The Diary of Raoul Grincheux

Part 58

Which features a couple of skirmishes and strange weirdness in the Shadowlands as our heroes enter the Moonguard Hegemony…

Windsday, Fertilityweek, Earthseason, 614 – afternoon in the Shadowlands

So we’z all by the well when sumwun sez ‘let’s foller the sparkly path’ but we looks round an’ it’z gon. I’z got a nasty feelin’ we’z bout to get jumped an nun ov us like the way we’z on this bare ground surrounded by bildins – I can ‘ear fings movin’ inside the pub an’ fings talkin’ – sounds a bit like Trollish only it ain’t; Oleg sez it’z Mrak, wot’s the lingo they all speak ‘ere. He finks they’z Black Elvz an’ they’z bout to cum for us.

Then I ‘ears them rocks movin’ in the far corner – iz sumfink hidin’ there? I’z alreddy got me weppons drawn wiv Shimmer an’ Ironhand on but we dunt wanna get cort ‘ere so me an’ Stella hide behind a hut so the Elvz in the pub can’t shoot us – the uvvers crouch down by the pub walls so they can’t be seen out the winders. Hassan looks in a winder an’ sees three fings movin’ about inside…

…then Eliza shouts out – them rocks iz standin’ up! Lumme, it’z anuvver statyoo – an’ I ain’t got Gnaw this time!

Then a rocks clangs off Stella’s ‘elmet. It din’t cum from the pub but Stella points at the barn. She shoots the statyoo wiv her bow – it hits but the arrer just bounces, like. I sees free fings cum out the back ov the pub – sorta like Elvz but dark grey wiv pale bits. I’z bout to shout but Redwing spots ‘em. The statyoo iz lumbrin’ ova to the well – it looks like Regal! An’ it’z lookin’ rite at him!

Stella an’ Regal move forward to ‘elp Hassan an’ Blen wiv the statyoo. Eliza ‘elps Oleg an’ Redwing wiv the Elvz. I knows me sword an’ dagger iz no good gainst the statyoo so I reckon me job iz to stop the uvvers from bein’ swarmd by the Elvz. So I’z gonna cast Invisibility gainst the statyoo an’ get to the pub door. Silke casts Mobility on me, case I needs to sprint.

But, just az I’z gonna cast the spell, sumfink sharp stings me guts. I looks down an’ there’z a bit ov flint stuck frew me kwilts! Ow! I can feel it stickin’ in me so I jently teeziz it out ‘cos if I try to moov wiv it stickin’ in it’ll gut me. Merde!

But then I finks I’ll try that trick Oleg showed us ov hidin’ in the shadows – it’z eezier wiv Shimmer on an’ lumme if I dunt fade in – feels kinda weerd, akterly.

Meanwhile Eliza swops parries wiv an Elf. Regal parries an’ sticks hiz in the chest – it’z well ded an Oleg splats hiz in a leg an’ it’z down too! They ain’t got no armour an’ they ain’t much cop.

The statyoo misses Stella an’ parries Regal. Hassan an’ Stella bofe hit it’z chest, knockin’ out chips but it’z tuff, know wot I mean?

So I’z got the flint out – nasty bit ov stuff, like glass – but more Elvz cums out the pub, frunt an’ back. Oleg, Redwing an’ Eliza’z got the back so I moovz off rite to ‘elp Blen at the frunt. Stella casts a Litewall to stop the Elvz in the barn from throwin’ more flints.

I casts Invisibility at the statyoo but it dunt work ‘cos there’z no spirit there! But I haz no trubbl weavin’ frew the fite… it’z weerd, it’z almost like I’z a shadder meself! By the time I gets to Blen he’z splatted wun Elf in the hed an’ parried anuvver.

Eliza an’ Redwing parries their Elvz – Eliza misses her stab but Redwing hits hers in the chest an’ it’z a gonna! Then Oleg kills Redwing’s Elf!

The statyoo swings at Hassan but misses an’ ‘alf spins round so it’z got itz back to everywun. While it’z turnd round, Hassan wacks itz bum wiv hiz gratesword an’ Regal jams hiz spear rite in itz back an’ it crumbls back to a pile ov rocks!

Then two more Elvz cum frew the Litewall – must ov cum out the barn. But then I sees anuvver six cummin’ across the green (or grey) from the far side. Stella yells sumfink bout formin’ a line – Eliza joins Stella left ov the well to take on the Elvz from the barn. The uvvers form a line rite ov the well. Nowun can see me so I shuffles off to the rite so I can take wun by surprise.

Az they cums in the Elvz all frow flints wot clang off Blen an’ Hassan. Eliza parries her Elf an’ stabs it ded in the hed. Stella just cuts hers in ‘alf, like but Blen an’ Hassan swops parries wiv theirs.

I moovz just rite an’ me Elf near jumps out itz skin when I cums out the shadders but I’z too excited an’ misses me bite. Merde! It spins round in time to parry me dagger.

So the line ov Elvz hits our line. Eliza runs round the well to take ‘em from the back. I parries me Elf but miss me bite again. (Wot’s wrong wiv me?) Blen hacks a leg off an Elf an’ parries anuvver but Eliza stabs it in the back an’ it’z down.

Hassan an’ hiz Elf swop misses. An Elf parries Regal’s spear but he stabs so hard he gets frew an’ kills the Elf enyway. Stella cuts anuvver in ‘alf an’ Regal’s fetch goes for the last.

The last two on they’z feet brake an’ run but we cuts ‘em down…

Suddenly, all them new-lookin’ bildins iz all rooind! It’z like a luzhion haz bin lifted. Sumhow the Black Elvz woz makin’ the place look… nicer? …newer? Weerd!

There’z sumfink sparkly in the rocks ov the broke statyoo. For a second I fort it woz the path but it turns out to be diamonds! Stella reckons they’z wurf fifty shillins each, or mebbe a grand for the set! An’ there’z a krystl! Basalt sez it’z majik but Stella reckons it ain’t a Power krystl so it’ll need atyoonin’.

And then we spots the sparkly path iz back! Stella asks Oleg bout the changes an’ he sez this sumtimez ‘appens…

…but I reckon the terrain spirit brort us ‘ere dlibrate. I reckon it din’t like the Black Elvz muckin’ wiv fings an’ brort us ‘ere to deel wiv ‘em an’ get fings all rooind aggen! That’z wot I fink.

We heds west an’ a few hours later we gets to wot Oleg sez iz a stream but it’z just a ditch filld wiv flowin’ shadder stuff. There’z anuvver rooin next to it wot Regal sez iz a mill in the Reel World. There’z a bridj ova the stream – it’z lookin’ knackered but I reckon it’ll ‘old us wun at a time, like. But we dunt wanna take no chances so Regal an’ Redwing strip, turn into eagles an’ fly ova wiv a rope. They turn back human an’ tie it up so we got sumfink to ‘old in case ov aksidents. We all gets ova, no trubbl.

We keep on the sparkly path but when it goes in the woods Hassan gets a bit anksy, know wot I mean? Askin’ Oleg bout Thornghouls. He cood cast Detect Unded but there’z too menny treez. Oleg sez we’ll only go a bit ov a way in the woods an’ then leev the Shadowlands. Hassan duz a Detect Unded an’ we’z safe for this bit.

A few minits later Oleg casts Shadowdoor an’ we’z back in the Reel World aggen. We’z in the woods wiv bout an hour to dusk so we scouts round an’ makes camp. Eliza cooks dinner an’ it’z a kwyit nite.

Fireday, Fertilityweek, Earthseason, 614

We wakes up an’ it’z nice an’ warm – big change from that blizzard we got off Lady Xzaxza’s fetch. We sets off after brekfust – I’z no idea where we iz but the uvvers know wot’s wot, espeshully Oleg, wot sez we gotta get to the river. Peepl haz bin this way a lot but we sees nowun.

We leevz the woods an’ finds usselfs on a road next a big river – I means it’z ‘undreds ov yards across, like – so this iz the Moon River! Oleg sez we’z a day out from Headley but we needs to get to Hungry (wot seems to be a place, not just needin’ grub, like). He sez we’z gotta skirt Headley an’ asks if we’z up to doin’ the Shadowlands aggen – I’m game an’ the uvvers iz up for it.

Oleg tellz us more bout Shadow Lore. We meets nowun all day an’ camp sowf of Headley. It’z anuvver kwyit nite – I’z gettin’ to like this.

Moonday, Fertilityweek, Earthseason, 614

So today iz the Loonies’ ‘oly day an’ it’z when I’z gotta wotch it ‘cos the Moon brings out the Rat in me an’ it’z eezy to lose it, like. I tries not to change in case I gets stuck az a rat ‘cos I can feel the pull of the Moon, know wot I mean?

After Eliza’s brekfust Oleg casts hiz Shadowdoor an’ we’z back in the Grey. Strange fing iz, wunce we’z in the Shadowlands, I can’t feel the Moon so after ‘alf-an-hour I gets me ratty hed on, no trubbl.

Oleg haz Regal chum up the terrain spirit again. It takes a few minits but soon we’z got a sparkly path to foller. But bein’ this close to the river iz scary. The Moon River iz big, ‘undreds ov yards across, an’ it ain’t eny smaller in the Shadowlands – only that’s ‘undreds ov yards ov flowing shadow dust an’ I reckons there’z fings in it – I’z sure I saw a tenticl! Oleg warns us to stay away from the bank. Too rite!

So an hour later we’z entring Headley, it’z ova anuvver bridj where a smaller river joins the big wun (Oleg sez it’z the Drover). Then we’z walkin’ tween sum ‘ouses to the left an’ the river on the rite. Me an Oleg iz hidden in shadders an’ scoutin’ ahed ov the uvvers. Oleg points out sum rooins on the bank, sayin’ them’z docks in the Reel World but then I sees fings movin’ in the river. Oleg sez them’z stinkroks wot’s shadder-crocodiles (we got crocs in the sewers in Heliopolis) an’ we shood stay clear so we drops back to warn the uvvers.

Nowun’s sure wot to do. Sum wont to move off to the left, away from the river, but that means leavin’ the sparkly path an’ Hassan’s worritin’ we won’t find it aggen. Regal an’ Redwing sez they cood fly ahed an’ land on the path when it’z safer so they cood shout an’ call the rest ov us ova if we got lost. But that means we’d be split up an’ they’z shoutin’ mite bring sumfink else, like. Stella’s afraid us splittin’ up wiv sum on the path an’ uvvers not mite make time run difrent for each ov us. But then Oleg reckons it’z safe to leev the path so we heds into town, away from the river an’ itz stinkroks.

Me an Oleg are furcklin’ ahed aggen az we goes down a rooind street when I ‘ears fings movin’ in the rooins on eyver side – an’ I smells sumfink odd, sumfink I’z never smelt before. Then I ‘ears voices speakin’ that Mrak lingo aggen, tho the voices sound difrent to the Black Elvz.

Then, sudden-like, me an’ Oleg iz jumpd by theez weerd kritters – they looks ded scrawny, kinda like peepl till they’z up close when I seez they’z grinnin’ like loonies an’ they’z got theez button-eyes. It givs me a rite nasty turn, I can tell you – it reely puts me off me stroke – an’ they’z just woz ‘ere! Oleg shouts ‘creeps’ an’ they’z reely creepy alrite. They’z jumpd us even tho we’z hidden!

Behind us, the uvvers haz bin jumpd too. Eliza parries a claw an’ her armour saves her from a bite. Hassan iz missed by a claw an’ parries the bite. Redwing parries a claw an’ a bite in hiz leg gets saved by hiz armour. Blen parries a claw an’ then slashes hiz creep’s hed off! Regal parries a claw an’ hiz armour stops a bite.

It’z all lookin’ good till Stella gets clawed an’ her arm goes limp so she can’t use her axe!

Silke’s surprised but I’z not. I draws me sword an’ dagger an’ casts Ironhand az I parries a claw an’ bite an Oleg parries hiz creep.

The way they stares duz me hed in but I pulls meself togevver an’ gets reddy to give ‘em sum grief. Behind us, two more creeps jump out an’ Regal’s fitin’ two but he gets hiz fetch to attack wun. Stella drops her axe an’ draws her shortsword wiv her left hand.

Eliza stabs her creep in the guts. Hassan misses hiz parry but the claw can’t beat hiz armour an’ the bite misses. He cuts its leg off! Redwing puts hiz down wiv a hit in the arm. Blen hits hiz in a leg so it’s hoppin’. He parries the claw an’ the bite misses.

Regal guts a creep but the uvver clangs off hiz armour – twice. But then Doodoo possesses it an’ walks it away. Stella parries a claw but the creep bites her uvver arm. But then Florence casts Healin’ so her rite arm iz workin’ aggen.

I bite my creep in a leg, parry the claw an’ me footwork dodges the bite. Oleg swops parries wiv hiz creep.

Now her rite hand’s goin’ aggen, Stella switches her sword ova an’ Regal cums to ‘elp Oleg. Eliza an’ Redwing kill hiz creep. Blen kills wun. Stella hacks a leg off hers an’ parries a claw. I bite my creep in the side – it’z ded! An’ Oleg kills hiz.

We’z won! But it felt hairy there for a minit.

Oleg tellz us creeps can do that hidin-in-shaders fing, an’ it looks like they can spot uvvers hidin’ like that. An’ he sez they can telport – just a few yards, but enuff to get from hidin’ to rite in your face instant, like. They’z faces, up close an’ nasty, kinda set you back at first but he reckons they’z a pushover next to a stinkrok in the water. Good job we came this way, then.

We makes our way frew the town an’ get back to the river an’ the path iz still sparklin’, know wot I mean? Oleg haz us stay in the Grey all day ‘cos he reckons we’z makin’ reel good time. Eliza jokes that he’z just tryin’ to stay out the Sun an’ he grins. He teechiz us more Shadow Lore.

We cums out the Shadowlands an’ camp norf ov Headley. Oleg sez tomorrow he’ll take us off road, headin’ norf-west for Hungry.