The Diary of Raoul Grincheux

Part 65

In which our heroes thread their way through a maze of puzzles and monsters…

Waterday, Disorderweek, Darkseason, 614 – mid-morning and mid-fight

Wiv the skels round us in bits I duz Oleg’s trick ov usin’ the shadders to hide in an’ slip frew all the fitin’ to ‘elp Oleg at the back while Regal an’ Stella take on two free skels an’ Hassan goes for wun wiv no pelvis wot swops parries wiv him. Blen swops parries wiv hiz skel. Stella misses her skel an’ then Regal an’ Oleg all swop parries wiv theirs – parries all round, like.

Hassan duz a perfect parry, much better than hiz skel’s. Blen gets parried by hiz skel an’ Stella parries hers but then she wacks Blen’s skel in the chest but it’z still goin’. Regal parries his skel but hiz luvly iron sheeld iz ‘alf-wrecked an’ it sticks him in the leg – an’ then it parries him, ded perfect.

I cums out the shadders rite behind Oleg’s skel. Oleg parries it an’ I goes for a stab an a bite, but (like last time I did this) I’z too excited an’ misses wiv me dagger. But I bites itz leg.

Hassan an’ Blen swop parries wiv they’z skels. Stella parries hers an’ wacks Blen’s skel in the chest an’ it crumbls! Regal parries an’ hits hiz skel but can’t beat its armour (they’z all got stone scale horberks).

Oleg steps sideways from a skel wiv a broke pelvis draggin’ itself ova so I ducks rite to keep behind Oleg’s skel. Cors, that puts me next to that pelvic skel. Oleg parries hiz skel an’ I parry the pelvic wun an’ then I stabs Oleg’s skel in the back – still goin’ tho.

Hassan an’ Stella swop parries wiv they’z skels. Blen goes to ‘elp Regal wot parries hiz skel an’ then duz a vishus stab wiv hiz spear wot goes frew the skel’s axe an’ chips a rib. Then Blen hits it in the ribs but it’s still goin’ – they’z so tuff!

Oleg gets missed by hiz skel an’ I flicks away the pelvic skel’s axe wiv me dagger. I bite Oleg’s skel but can’t beat itz armour but Oleg smashes its axe. I reckon Oleg can deel wiv hiz skel by hizself now it’z got nuffink to parry wiv so I just goes for the pelvic skel.

Hassan swops parries wiv hiz skel. Stella parries hers but misses wiv her axe. Regal swops parries wiv hiz but then Blen’s sword hits itz spine an’ it crumbls. I Parry my skel an’ givs its axe a good chewin’. Oleg parries an’ wacks hiz skel in the ribs but it’z still goin’.

Hassan parries an’ cuts hiz skel in the hed but that dunt stop it. Stella swops parries wiv her skel. Regal an’ Blen bofe smash the skull ov they’z skel an’ it crumbls. I parry me skel but then I twists me ankle so I’z hoblin’ – ow! Oleg parries his skel an’ smashes itz chest!

There’z only two skels left, bofe wiv knackered pelvissis, so we all crowd round an’ do ‘em in. We’z wun!

Oleg gets hiz back to a wall an’ kinda slumps down – he’z hurt a bit so I looks him ova. He sez me Healin’ wont work on Trolls but I bind up hiz arm an’ leg an’ he’s a lot better when it’z dun – an’ I dun a reel good job on hiz leg, I reckon.

While I’z bandagin’ him, Oleg tells us that he dunt reckon the skels were reel unded, just sort of shadder-stuff made to look that way.

Redwing sez he reckons he saw a lite down the passij. Regal haz a gander usin’ his spirit site but he ain’t shore.

So we sets off aggen. Soon I reckon we’z close to where we’z cum in, only we’z in bout ten yards closer to the middl ov the maze, where the Shadder-Tower iz.

Then we cum to anuvver wordy-fing wiv skwairs wot lite up az we cums up. On the wall, gloin’ writin’ sez, “Starts cult followers” wot means nuffink to me but then Eliza sez ‘inishihates’ an’ the floor lites up. We all hop ova but Oleg’s first hop clips anuvver skwair wot falls in a pit. I can ‘ear sumfink movin’ down there – I haz a sniff but I ain’t smelt nuffink like it before. Oleg sez they’z two orul hunters – I remembers then when he woz teachin’ us Shadow Lore an’ they’z realy nasty, ded quick an’ strong wiv tuff hides wot hunt by listnin’ for you’z breevin’ – well I ain’t goin’ down that pit.

Wunce past that, the passij turn rite an’ takes us closer to the middl to the next ring ov passij – we go left bout thirty foot an’ now I reckon we’z just where we cum in only twenny yards toward the middl.

Regal spots anuvver tiltin’ floor trap. Hassan sez he’z worritin’ he’z no good spottin’ traps so I swops places wiv him ‘cos we rats haz to be good at it.

So Regal an’ Redwing flies ova wiv the rope, wedjiz the floor an’ we all cross ova holdin’ the rope wiv our feets on the narrer ledj…

…but me foot slips off an’ I steps on the floor, wot tilts down! Lucky-like, I’z gotta tite grip on the rope an’ get back on the ledj an’ we all gets ova.

After anuvver ‘undred foot the passij opens into a room wiv lites on. Akterly, it looks like it’z got no roof so we can see the stars – but then I remembers the sky in the Shadowlands dunt look like that so it’z gotta be a luzhion. It looks like Moonlite but they ain’t got it kwite rite, know wot I mean? So it’z loozory Moonlite – but then Eliza sez all Moonlite iz a luzhion – makes me hed hurt to fink about it.

In the room iz a load ov cumfy chairs an’ a cuppl ov sofas an’ two water fountains on eyver side. I goes ova to the left wun ‘cos I cood do wiv a drink but it ain’t water, it feels kinda dusty an’ smells like shadder-stuff so there’z a luzhion on it too.

There’z no way out so we’z gotta go back. But Hassan looks to see if enywun haz climbed up frew the skylite. He findz sum scratches but I remembers the gargoils sed we mustn’t climb on the roof so we won’t do that.

Regal sez praps we shood rest ‘ere a bit but before we can moov Hassan sez he’z gonna check down the back ov a sofa for eny lost munny. Sudden-like, there’z a puffin’ noise an’ we can’t see Hassan for dust! Then he screams, “I’z blind!” an’ az the dust clears we see the sofa’s becum a Thornghoul! An’ it’z stuck three thorns in him! Merde!

An’ then the uvver sofa rite in frunt ov me an’ all the chairs turn into Thornghouls too! Putain!

Stella’s by a Thornghoul in the near rite corner az we cum in. Blen is tween two Thornghouls at the far end ov the room. Regal goes for a Thornghoul in the far left corner. I’z by the fountain on the far left, rite next a sofa wot’s becum a Thornghoul. So I draws me weppons an’ casts Ironhand while Silke casts Shimmer. Eliza ‘elps me. Oleg iz in the far rite corner, takin’ on wun ov Blen’s Thornghouls. Redwing ‘elps Hassan.

Hassan gets spiked in the guts, an arm an’ a leg an’ shouts it’z drainin’ him. He swings hiz sword but he can’t see so he misses by miles. Redwing hits a Thornghoul but they’z got tuff skin. Stella gets blinded by shadder-dust an’ her Thornghoul grappls her. She misses it ‘cos she’z blinded, ov cors.

I’z hit by dust but I get me eyes shut just soon enuff to not be blinded. I’z ‘appy bofe spells go off. Blen gets blinded an’ hiz Thornghoul grappls him too. Oleg ducks the dust an’ wacks his Thornghoul in the chest.

Seein’ she’z in trubbl, I duck round Eliza an’ go ‘elp Stella. I ‘ears Regal tellin’ hiz spirits to possess the Thornghouls. Hassan gets drained sum more blud but he casts spells, wot’s good ‘cos Redwing forgets how to cast Protecshun. Redwing stabs the Thornghoul wiv hiz spear, wot gets stuck in the Thornghoul’s chest. Redwing draws hiz tommyhawk.

A Thornghoul drains Stella’s blud. I’z cummin’ to ‘elp her when a load ov shadder dust flies up an’ I can’t see!

Eliza blocks the dust wiv her sheeld but it grappls her. She stabs it in the hed wiv her spear but it’z just a scratch. Regal spears hiz Thornghoul in the guts an’ it can’t moov now.

Blen blinks the dust away an’ can see aggen. Hiz Thornghoul hits him wiv two thorns wot can’t get frew Blen’s armour. He hits it in the hed but it’s still goin’.

Oleg iz blinded by dust but still hits hiz Thornghoul.

Hassan an’ Stella iz still blind. I staggers back, tryin’ to wipe me face clean. Funny fing iz, I dunt fink it woz a Thornghoul wot did this. It woz just a load ov dust got kicked up an’ I walked strait into it.

Redwing’s spear iz still stuck in they’z Thornghoul an’ when it goes for ‘em the spear kills it. Redwing puts hiz tommyhawk away an’ pulls hiz spear out the corpse. Stella loses blud an’ misses her Thornghoul.

Eliza’s armour iz too good for her Thornghoul’s thorns – she spears it in a leg an’ then Regal puts hiz spear frew itz hed an’ it’z ded. Blen’s battlin’ hiz Thornghoul but hiz armour saves him from the thorns. Oleg hits hiz Thornghoul an’ kills it ded!

I still can’t see so Eliza cums ova to ‘elp. Stella blinks her eyes clear ov dust. Now she’z not blind she hits her Thornghoul in the hed. It’z still goin’ but then Redwing cums ova an’ duz for it. Blen an’ Regal iz battlin’ Blen’s Thornghoul. They hit it in the leg an’ the guts – it’s still game but then they bofe skewer it good an’ that’s the last wun ded!

Regal reckons it’z bout lunchtime so we stops an’ eats. Then Regal sez we shood rest ‘cos we’z lost a lot ov power in all theez fites. Sounds good to me.

Eight hours later we’z good to go aggen but Hassan sez he feels ded weak from losin’ all that blud an’ asks if sumwun cood carry hiz dagger. I vlonteer – I’z got four ov me own alreddy (includin’ that baned wun).

So we haz to go back ova the floor trap. Regal jams the tilt aggen an’ this time we haz no aksidents. We pass the passij out an’ a bit later I sees sumfink odd. All ov a sudden, it looks like the team iz turnin’ like they’z gonna walk into a wall! I shouts out but they dunt know wot I’z talkin’ bout until Oleg sez it’z anuvver luzhion! He gets me an’ him at the frunt an’ everyone else follers us wiv hands on the sholder in frunt an’ we leads evrywun.

After a bit, evrywun iz seein’ the same az us aggen so it’s back to normal but Hassan sez we cood do wiv Oleg in frunt ‘cos he’s good at seein’ frew shadders an’ shadder luzhions, like. So now it’z me an’ Oleg eyver side of Regal wiv Stella, Blen an’ Hassan behind us an’ Eliza an’ Redwing bringin’ up the back.

Oleg reckons we’z bout a quarter way round an’ twenny yards in when we cums to a passij goin’ left an’ inward aggen. We follers it frew to the next inner ring ov passij.

After a bit, Regal shouts ‘stop’ ‘cos he’z spotted anuvver floor trap but he’z not shore wot’s wot – I can’t see nuffink but Blen reckons it’z anuvver dodgy floor so we do the uzhal an’ Regal an’ Redwing fly ova wiv rope, jam the trap an’ we climbs ova, ‘oldin’ the rope…

This time it’z Oleg wot slips like I did last time – he’z a mite ‘evvyer than me so the floor tilts proper an’ we sees it dumps you in a pit wiv a load ov steenkroks. Lucky for Oleg, he dunt let go the rope an’ them’z ‘oldin’ it don’t drop him but that cood ‘av bin nasty.

We cums to anuvver turnin’ in an’ takes it – I reckon me must be at least half way to the middl by now.

Then we cums to anuvver word puzzl. I can’t read it this time but evrywun reckons it sez ‘Gegs (9, 4)’ wot Eliza gets ded kwik. She sez “scrambled aggs” an’ the skwairs lite up an’ we all hops ova.